Hidden Truths
by MandyJai13
Summary: When Brittany chooses Sam, Santana makes a choice that changes everything. How will Brittany react when she finds out? How will Santana cope with her new life ? Will Brittany be able to fix things or will it be to late. Brittana endgame with some Marley/Santana romance, Quinntana, Sancedes and Pezberry friendships.
1. Did You Ever Really Love Me?

**Did You Ever Really Love Me?  
Chapter 1**

Santana stands alone on stage, lost and broken, how could Brittany do this to her? Sure she played tough, pretended it was for the best, that she was okay with being best friends, like her heart wasn't shattering into a million pieces.

That's what she's best at after all, putting up a façade, hiding everything behind a mask. She's an expert at it really, especially when it comes to Brittany.

Tears run down her cheeks, but no sound escapes her cold lips. As she stands there a small sob finally escapes as she collapses to the floor. The lights dim in the auditorium leaving her in pure darkness.

After what feels like an eternity she pulls herself up off the floor and exits the stage for the last time. As she walks down the halls of McKinley High she feels her body start to go numb, so many painful memories fill these halls, memories of when she was happy, when she was loved, or was she ever really loved at all?

She sighs but peeks into the choir room as she passes. She stops for a few seconds, just so she can remember the moments that they shared here together. It takes all of her willpower but she finally pulls away and continues walking. Before long she steps in front of the exit.

The Latina turns around to take one last glance at the school, one last chance to engrave the memories into her mind. She turns back to the door, more tears sliding down her cheeks before she exits.

It only takes her a few minutes to reach her house, and luckily her parents aren't home. It's just easier this way. She takes her time walking up the stairs, memorizing every place that held a special moment with Brittany.

She steps into her room and a sharp pain rockets through her chest. This place holds too many memories and it's overwhelming. This is the place she'd first kissed Brittany, where they'd first made love, the place they'd shared everything. Santana lets out another sob but moves quickly, she needs to get out of here and fast.

Minutes later she trudges toward her car in the driveway, a duffle bag slug across her shoulder, a suitcase in each hand. She stops and stares at the big house for a moment. Her mind flashes first to the note she left on the counter for her parents, then to the swing on the porch. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, savoring the memories of her and Brittany cuddled up in that very spot but the beautiful Latina lets her mind indulge for a few seconds to long.

At first she curses herself, but then remembers that it's okay because she needs to cherish the memories. After all, this will be the last time she ever looks at these places, and they will be the only memories she will ever get with the blonde; because there is no way she will be able to look at the girl again, being best friends simply isn't enough. More tears slip down her cheeks.

Santana wipes them away and loads the bags into her car, piling them on top of the stuff from her dorm room. She climbs into the driver's seat and takes a deep breath. 'This is it, the last time' she thinks to herself. She takes in another deep breath as she gathers her thoughts.

After a few seconds she makes a split decision, she can't go to New York, not yet at least. The thought tugs at the strings of her mangled heart but she knows that she doesn't have another choice. She wants to forget, to disappear, she NEEDS to run away and never be found and everyone (by everyone she means Brittany) already thinks she's going to New York.

So it's settled she can't go to the big apple, not that Brittany would even care enough to try and find her anyways.

Finally she puts the car in reverse, backs out of the driveway and starts to drive away. Sadness flows through her, and she doesn't even try to stop the tears, because she's alone and it doesn't matter if she lets her façade down. In her heart she knows this is for the best, this is the only way she will have a chance to find happiness.

As she passes Brittany's house more tears fall, she lets out a shaky breath and mumbles, 'Brittany's made her choice. And this is me making mine.' With that she pulls onto the highway and heads for the place that will be her chance to start over, her chance to put the girl she loves behind her.

As she starts the long drive to nowhere she can't help but wonder if Brittany ever even loved her. She ponders the question for hours as she continues to drive. She replays everything in her head, every memory, every conversation, every time she said 'I love you.' She thinks of how she is always second choice, first to Artie and now to Sam. It breaks her heart.

It hurts thinking of Brittany, but it hurts even worse coming to the conclusion that she'd just been kidding herself all along; because if there's one thing Santana is sure of, and it's that Brittany didn't ever really love her at all.


	2. Messages from Home

**I own nothing except the storyline. Cover image by ****metal dragon kiryu**

* * *

**Messages from Home  
Chapter 2**

_**Text Message- received Thursday at 7:13pm**__  
From Brittany: Hey San, I just wanted to see when you were headed for New York because I want to be able to see you before you leave._

As Santana reads the message her heart sinks a little. She's only been gone a few hours and her wounds from the blonde are still fresh. She tosses the phone onto the passenger seat and keeps driving.

_**Text Message- sent Friday at 5:39pm  
**__To Santana: So I guess you already left? Or maybe you're just busy. Please just let me know San._

As she sends the text Brittany curls up on the window seat in her bedroom. She hugs her knees to her chest and stares blankly out of the window, hoping that Santana didn't leave yet because she really wants to see the girl again.

_**Text Message- received Saturday at 8:22am**__  
From Brittany: San I'm starting to get worried since I haven't heard back. I just… I needed to see you. I thought we were okay, that you were okay with me and Sam. Even if you're mad please just text me back._

Santana's heart aches knowing that Brittany is worried, but then again she knows she shouldn't care. The blonde shattered her heart, and left her broken to be with Sam. She knows this is the only way, leaving is the only chance she will ever have at finding happiness again. Her phone lands face down on the bed of the cold hotel room as she curls up into a ball and cries.

* * *

Later that day the Latina is re-packing her things when she hears her phone ring. She reaches over to the bed and picks it up.

_Incoming call from: Brittany_

She pushes the silence button and lets it go through to voicemail. A few minutes later she hears a beep, signaling she has a message. Unwillingly she picks up the phone and clicks the voicemail icon.

_**1 new Voicemail received today at 4:58pm**__  
"Hey Santana it's me, I'm really starting to get worried. I went to your house since you haven't texted me but no one was home. Please I need to make sure you're okay, I really hope you are and that you didn't leave without saying goodbye. Miss you."_

Santana scoffs, 'Damn this girl is persistent for someone who just broke my heart.' She lets the thought sink in but chooses again to ignore the blonde. An hour later she's driving again. Once she is on the freeway she pulls out her phone and dials a familiar number.

"Hey Q, it's San, do you have a minute, I need to talk to you…"

* * *

Brittany is getting frustrated, Santana won't return her calls or texts, and she is starting to freak out. Maybe something awful has happened, maybe she's in trouble, or maybe Santana just doesn't want to talk to her. The blonde ponders that thought, trying to make sense of everything. Santana had told her she was okay with being best friends, assured her that she was fine, that she wasn't angry or upset. Could it have all been a lie?

She shakes her head, of course it wasn't a lie because if it was she would've noticed. Brittany prides herself on knowing Santana and being able to read her every thought, even if they aren't together.

Standing alone on her porch she takes a deep breath.

The next day she decides to call again, and again her call is forwarded to voicemail so she leaves another message.

_**Voicemail sent Sunday at 9:32am**_  
_"Sanny please pick up your phone I'm freaking out. I need to know you are okay. Please just call me back. If I don't hear back soon I'm going to talk to your parents. Love you."_

Brittany lets the tears fall down her cheeks as she finishes her message, she doesn't even care if Santana hears her cry, she just wants to know that Santana is okay.

As the day passes the blonde keeps her phone right next to her, jumping every time her screen lights up, only to glance down and be disappointed when it isn't Santana. Hour after hour rolls by as she tries to figure out what's going on. She can't wrap her head around the idea that maybe Santana left without saying goodbye, or that the girl might be hurt.

Her resolve finally breaks and she jumps into her car and heads for the Lopez house.

* * *

When Brittany arrives at the Lopez house she sees Mrs. Lopez sitting on the porch swing out front. Her eyes are puffy and she is holding a tissue to her nose. The blonde approaches slowly trying to swallow the lump in her throat. She finally reaches the porch and sits down next to the woman.

"Mrs. Lopez what's wrong?" Brittany asks gently. "Mija I was just… I'm just…" tears rolled down her cheeks and the blonde leaned in to hug her tight. The older woman sniffles and hugs the girl back for a few seconds before pulling away.

"Santana is gone." Brittany stares at the woman who just confirmed her fears. "It's okay Mrs. Lopez don't cry, Santana will be better off in New York, she can live out her dreams and I'm sure she will come visit." Brittany says the words to calm the elder Lopez, but also as her own sort of reassurance.

The woman lets out another broken cry and hands Brittany a small crumpled piece of paper. She stares at it curiously before unfolding it and reading.

**Mami & Papa,**

**I'm sorry it has to be like this, but I can't do this anymore. I'm leaving. Please don't try to find me. I'm not going to New York, but I will find somewhere that I belong. I wish I had time to say goodbye but I have to get out of here. I won't be coming back, but just know I will be okay. I know this hurts but please understand that I love you both very much and that I'm not leaving because of you, but because I finally realized that there is nothing left here for me besides heartache. **

**With all my love.  
Santana**

Brittany's mouth falls open at the shock of what she just read. A million thoughts race through her mind. Santana isn't going to New York? Where is she going? Does this mean I won't ever see her again? It causes her heart to ache. Mrs. Lopez rubs the girl's back and kisses her on the cheek. "It will all be okay mija. Maybe this is for the best." Another tear slides down the older woman's cheek as she stands and walks into the house.

Minutes later Brittany pulls herself away from the swing and she's completely numb, body, heart and soul. She climbs into her car and sits there for a long moment. The girl finally lets out a frustrated cry. As a tear falls she pulls out her cell phone and dials Santana's number.

This time it doesn't even ring, it just goes straight through to voicemail.

_**Voicemail sent Sunday at 6:11pm**_  
_"San… I just spoke to your mom. How could you do this? How could you just run away...Santana please just pick up the phone, we can talk about this. I don't want to lose you, the thought of never seeing you again, it's too much. Please Sanny, please…"_

She lets out a sob and hits end. There has to be a way to find Santana because Brittany isn't ready to accept that she will never see the beautiful Latina again.


	3. Decisions & Revelations

**Decisions & Revelations  
Chapter 3**

_5 days later…_

Brittany tosses her bag over her shoulder and trudges out to her car. As she walks her shoulders slump and her feet drag on the asphalt. She's exhausted, physically and emotionally. But the blonde is thankful it's finally Friday and she can go home. The last few days have been rough to say the least.

After finding out that Santana ran away Brittany broke down. How could the brunette leave? Where is she? Why did she do it? These questions plagued the blonde every second of every day especially the last one and they cause her heart to ache.

Once she's sitting in the front seat of her car she lets a tear fall down her cheek. In that moment she hates herself. Hates herself for being weak, for not seeing the truth, for being so naive but most of all she hates herself for choosing Sam.

Truthfully she doesn't even know why she did it. At the time it seemed right, after all Sam's sweet and fun, and simple, the complete opposite of Santana, he was the safe choice. I mean sure Brittany cared about Santana, she always had but the girl had left her alone only to come back and shatter her heart in a million pieces. Santana was uncertainty, Santana was a risk, and for some reason she just couldn't let herself take that chance.

Another tear falls as she gets lost in her own thoughts. Eventually she lets out a sigh, pulls herself up, starts the car and drives off. In no time she's home and her house is empty except for the large cat napping by her window.

The blonde throws herself onto the bed and curls up into a ball. She just wants the pain to go away; she wants to take back her stupidity so she can have Santana again.

In that moment lying there alone in her house Brittany truly understands what heartbreak really feels like.

All those months when the Latina was away at college Brittany hurt. She felt lost, abandoned, she felt like something was missing. The blonde thought that's what heartbreak felt like, but she could never really know how wrong she was until now. Because sure Santana wasn't right there before, maybe they didn't get to talk very often or see each all the time but at least Santana was still _there_.

Brittany knew where she was and that she loved her, she knew that the girl was safe and happy and the brunette was never more than a phone call away.

But now? She finally understands—the heartbreak everyone talks about and writes songs about because she finally gets it, what it's really like living without the person you love, what it's like living without Santana.

Tears fall more freely now because the reality of the situation sets in. She may never get to see the girl again, or hold her hand or kiss her lips. She might not ever get the chance to tell her she made a mistake or that she loves her more than anything in the world, even Lord Tubbington and unicorns.

* * *

As she lays there lost in her thoughts she hears a knock at the door. "Who is it?" she calls half-heartedly. "Britt it's me, open up its date night! I brought your favorite take out and a movie." Sam shouts through her locked door his voice full of excitement.

Brittany sighs, she really isn't in the mood for dealing with Sam, but she can't help feeling slightly guilty. Sam is a great boyfriend, he is sweet and caring and really funny it's just that being around him makes everything hurt worse. Every time she sees his face the girl can't help but feel disappointed and upset. She knows it isn't fair to Sam but she just can't do it, especially not tonight.

"Sammy I'm not feeling good, I think I might've caught the flu… We should probably cancel date night." She lies easily.

He sighs from the other side of the door before speaking. "Come on Britt, I know you aren't sick, you've been avoiding me all week, what's up? Please babe just talk to me, did I do something wrong?"

"I really don't feel well, and no you didn't do anything wrong I just need some time to myself right now, I've gotta sort some things out. I'm sorry but I just can't tonight." She states in a monotone voice.

His feet shuffle and it sounds like he's leaving but before he does he lets out a shaky breath. "I love you Brittany. I really hope you can work through whatever you are feeling because I think you made the right choice choosing me, but I can tell you aren't so sure. Just remember you can't hide in there forever. "

With that he walks down the stairs and closes the front door behind him.

Hearing his words just makes Brittany feel even guiltier, she needs to figure out what she's doing. He doesn't deserve to be treated like this and he's right, she can't hide forever.

She sits there for hours trying to sort through her feelings and figure out a plan when she realizes she really only has two options. She could suck it up, admit her mistake and go on with her life. Her and Sam could stay together, have an awesome senior year, graduate and go to college. She could forget about Santana, lock away her feelings and memories and just wish the girl well. That would be the smart thing, the safe thing.

However the blonde knew there was another option, a riskier one, one that could involve more pain and heartbreak, but one that could lead her to her girl. Brittany could let Sam go, she could search for the girl of her dreams, she could give up her plans and go after Santana.

* * *

As she ponders the two options, trying to figure out what would be best, memories dance through her mind, chocolate brown eyes, full lips, a heart-shaped face, each feature pulling her in. Seeing her face brought tears to her eyes.

Quickly she wipes the tears and reaches over to rummage through her nightstand drawer. Her eyes land on a small folded piece of paper and she pulls in out. Unfolding it carefully she lets her gaze follow the familiar handwriting.

A few days ago she'd gone back to the Lopez's house and when she'd found Mrs. Lopez she'd asked to see the note that Santana had left again. The older woman didn't hesitate and when she noticed how intently the blonde stared at it she offered for her to keep it.

Now here she is re-reading the note for the 100th time trying to find meaning in the words, trying to understand. The second her eyes trace the words _'I finally realized that there is nothing left here for me besides heartache,' _something clicks.

She has to go after her; she has to find the beautiful girl who somehow managed to steal her heart all those years ago.

Brittany soon discovers that making the decision to find Santana was the easy part. I mean there never really was a choice for Brittany. Epecially when she'd been the one who'd caused the brunette to run away; when she was the one who was broken without her girl.

However she also finds out that the rest is going to be difficult. She has no clues as to where the girl is, where should she even start?

She racks her brain as she paces around the room when an idea pops into her head. Just because Santana hadn't said anything to her parents or the blonde didn't mean that someone else may not know where the brunette is. Tearing apart her bed she finally finds her phone and scrolls through her contacts.

* * *

_Incoming call from: Brittany_

"Hello" a tentative voice answered. "Hey Quinn, it's Brittany. I kinda need your help…" the dancer trails off. "Ummm yeah, what's up?" Quinn mumbles.

"Well its Santana, she's gone" the girl stops before letting out a sob. "Oh Quinn I messed up, I chose Sam over her and now she's missing, she ran away and I need to find her. I thought that maybe you'd heard from her, you're like her best friend." Sobs echo through the phone as the shorter blonde sighs.

"Britt I haven't seen Santana, but honestly I'm sure she is fine. She's tough, and maybe she just needs some space, you were kind of harsh. Why did you chose a boy over her again, you know what that did to her last time. I mean I guess I would've understood if you didn't love her…" Brittany lets out a sob before interrupting.

"Of course I love her Quinn! Do you really think that I don't love her?" Silence. "Well?" Another long second passes before Quinn responds. "Honestly Brittany it doesn't matter if you do or not because Santana believes that you don't love her, that you never really did."

Quinn covers her mouth quickly realizing she's said too much. "She thinks that I never loved her? Wait how do you know that Quinn?" Brittany's voice is angry and accusing now. "You've talked to her haven't you? Is she there with you now? I swear to god Quinn if you know where she is…" Quinn quickly interrupts Brittany's rant and her voice grows angry.

"No she isn't here and I don't know exactly where she is, but I have talked to her. She's broken Brittany. You literally ripped out her heart, you took everything she has. And don't even start with me saying it's her fault she broke up with you. Yeah sure maybe she made a mistake but she always loved you, and you knew that. But you? Was she just a game for you, something fun to toy around with while you waited for the next boy you liked to come along?" Quinn stops ranting when she hears sobs coming from the other girl.

Quinn sighs again. "Britt, I'm sorry I shouldn't have yelled at you or accused you. Both of you made your own choices and whether or not you loved her isn't for me to say. But she is _MY_ best friend and I need to protect her. I understand you want to find her, but if you really love her maybe you need to think about what's best for her. She deserves someone that will treat her right and love her through the good and the bad, she needs someone who is sure of what they want and who won't break her heart when some random boy comes along." Brittany sniffles.

"Just make sure this is what you really want before you try to find her, I don't think she will be able to survive you choosing someone else over her for a third time. And I'm sorry but I can't help you, bye Brittany."

With that Quinn hangs up. Brittany is left standing in shock. 'Does Santana really think that I don't love her?' she whispers into the empty room. That thought brings on a whole new heartache. She lets tear fall as she realizes the truth in Quinn's words, she had picked Artie over Santana and then she'd gone and picked Sam too. She cursed herself for being so stupid, because in truth she had no idea why she'd done it either time because Brittany didn't love anyone the way she loved Santana.

When she finally calmed herself down and she settled into bed she only had one thing on her mind. Somehow, someway she has to find Santana and prove to her how much she needs her, how much she loves her.


	4. The Notebook

**The Notebook  
Chapter 4**

_Incoming call from: Brittany_

She lets out a long sigh before picking up the phone. "Hello."

"Hey it's Brittany, are you busy?" She sighs again at the blonde's words. She knew Brittany would call eventually after she'd spoken to Quinn two days ago.

"Umm, not really I'm just hanging out with Kurt at the apartment." Rachel mumbled into the phone.

"Okay good, because I really need to talk to you about something." The blonde pauses but Rachel remains silent so she continues. "Santana is gone, she has been for about a week now. I screwed up Rach and she left. I just… I need to find her. I was hoping maybe you'd heard from her…"

The brunette's heart sank a little because she could hear Brittany's tears through the phone and the agony in her voice. But she'd promised her raven-haired friend she'd keep quiet. That thought causes her mind to replay the night Santana called.

_Flashback…_

"_Hey San, what's up? How's Lima?" Rachel chirped into the phone. The line was silent for a second before she heard a sob. _

_"Santana what's wrong? Are you hurt? Do I need to call the police? Where are you?" Her questions poured out quickly as she imagines the worst._

"_Rach… I… I'm noott… not inn Limmaa…" Santana stutteres out through sobs. "Shhhh it's okay honey. What happened?"_

"_I went back… to school… I wanted to get her back… but… but…" Another sob. Rachel's heart breaks hearing her former enemy and current friend's pain. _

"_She choose him. She basically said I was nothing more than her friend that I should move on… so I am…" Santana's heartaches as she tells her story._

_Rachel sighs, "I'm sorry baby, I wish I knew how to fix this, but maybe it's for a best if you do move on. And for what it's worth I think she's being an idiot." Rachel cooed into the phone._

"_I left. I packed my car and left. I didn't even tell anyone. Rach I ran away because… because I can't risk her finding me, not that she'll care enough to try."_

"_Wait, where are you San?" The brunette snaps in a more serious tone._

"_I'm okay, I'm driving now." She breathes out through her tears. "Why don't you come here? You can stay with Kurt, Brody and I?" The smaller girl adds in a somewhat bossy tone._

"_I can't. New York is the first place people will look for me, and I honestly don't want to be found. I have a place to go, and I will keep you updated, I'm talking to Quinn too but please don't tell anyone else. Please…" Her voice sounds so small and Rachel lets a few tears fall for her friend._

"_I won't say anything, you secret is safe with me. I'm always here for you too, if you ever need to talk or need a safe place to crash. I know we haven't always been that close but you really are one of the more important people in my life San, and…" Rachel hesitates before finishing her sentence, trying to decide if it's a good idea. _

"_I love you, please don't do anything dumb." She lets the words out, hoping they will help other girl._

"_I love you too Rach, and thanks, for everything. I promise I'll be safe, I have to go now but I will call in a few days." With that Santana hangs up and Rachel lets out a shaky breath._

Brittany's voice pulls her out of the memory, "Rachel? Did you hear me? Do you know where Santana is?" The blonde's voice is desperate but the brunette knows she can't give in.

"Brittany I'm sorry but I don't know where she is… look I have to get going—umm class and all. I'm really sorry Britt." Rachel hangs up before she can hear Brittany's disappointed cry.

* * *

_4 weeks later…_

Brittany sits at the desk in her room staring at a notebook on her desk as she taps her pen against the page before tiredly slumping back in her chair.

It's been over a month since Santana ran away and the tall dancer has spent almost every second of it trying to figure out where the girl would've gone. She's spent hours in this very spot making lists of all the people Santana may have contacted, diagrams of all places the girl might be staying and page after page of plans on how to find her.

The girl lets out a sigh. So far she's had no luck in tracking down Santana. She's called all of their old classmates, Rachel, Kurt, Quinn, Mercedes and even Mike hoping someone could give her a clue but if any of them knew anything they weren't talking.

After that she'd decided to start asking anyone that may have information, San's parents, her brother, Mr. Shue, Mrs. Pillsbusy, Coach Sylvester, Puck, Blaine, Sugar, Joe, Tina, Rory, Unique and even Artie. Unfortunately none of them seemed to know anything.

Brittany's heart aches each time someone says 'I'm sorry but I don't know where she is' or 'I'm sure she is fine.' She finds herself crying often, feeling more and more hopeless as time goes on. But she refuses to give up.

Reminding herself that she has to keep looking she flips through the notebook again until she finds the page she's looking for.

Her finger traces down the list of names scrawled neatly there, most of which are crossed out, until she stops on an unmarked name—Marley.

Why hadn't she talked to the girl yet? Maybe Santana would be talking to her girl, she was her mentor after all. Brittany set to work, scribbling furiously on the paper, maybe the tall singer would be the key. Her heart jumped a little as it filled with hope.

Unfortunately the feeling didn't last long because almost immediately she saw her phone light up beside her.

_Incoming call from: Sam_

"Shit!" she lets out a frustrated sigh before quickly covering her mouth. She smacks her palm against her forehead for letting the cruse word slip before picking up the phone.

"Hey…" she says shakily into the phone.

"Britt! There you are, I've been trying to get ahold of you." Sam says with an agitated tone.

"I'm sorry, I'm just busy. I haven't had time to return your calls." Her voice comes out sounding worn and tired.

"Are you sure you just aren't ignoring me Brittany? I mean it's been like a month since we've done anything, I barely even see you at school." He doesn't sound angry anymore but instead sounds upset.

"Look, I'm really sorry Sam, but I just can't. I just…" Brittany lets out a long sigh. "Listen, why don't you meet be by Chandler's pond around 5:30 so we can talk?"

"Like talk about this? Actually nevermind it doesn't matter I will see you at 5:30 B."

Both blondes hang up theirs phones and let out the breaths they've been holding.


	5. Whatever It Takes

**Whatever It Takes  
Chapter 5**

Brittany sits alone on the bench under the big willow tree. Her tears slowly coming to a stop as she stares out across the pond. She knows that Sam will be here any minute and she knows what she has to do.

Before the dancer can replay her speech in her head she hears footsteps behind her and sighs.

Her eyes move from the pond to the blonde boy that is standing next to the bench. "Can I sit?" He asks quietly. She nods and scoots over to make room.

They sit in silence for a while before Brittany finally speaks. "Thanks for coming. I know I haven't been the best person lately and I am sorry for that." She tries to force out a sincere smile but it doesn't really work.

Sam meets her eyes but doesn't say anything, waiting for her to continue.

"Sam… I… Look, you are a great guy and you've been a great boyfriend. I really do like you but I just…" Brittany takes in a deep breath and sighs. Her eyes flicker from her hands to Sam's face and she can see understanding in her eyes. He already knows what she is going to say, but she needs to say it anyways.

"I just can't be with you like this. I was naive thinking that I could give you my heart when it wasn't really mine to give. My heart belongs to someone else. It has ever since the third grade when a wild-eyed little girl picked me up, wiped my tears and kissed my cheek after a boy shoved me and called me stupid."

Brittany takes a breath as she remembers the memory. Santana was her savior that day, and every day after that. The blonde never got picked on again because Santana was there every second threatening anyone who even thought about hurting the other girl. Sure Santana is all grown up now but that little girl still has her heart.

"I love her Sam. She is it for me. I was angry at her for leaving me and I made a mistake that I might have to live with for the rest of my life. I'm sorry I dragged you into this that I used you and led you on, I hope you can forgive me." A tear slides down her cheek.

"It's okay B, I forgive you. I guess I've always known that I'd never really have you. But B, Santana is gone how are you going to find her?" Sam scoots a little closer and puts a comforting arm around Brittany's shoulder. The blonde girl's heart fills up a little bit knowing that Sam forgives her and that he still cares.

"I'm not sure exactly, but I'm the one who screwed up and I will spend every day looking for her if I have to because I need her." She breathes out through tears.

"Well I'm here for you because I just want you to be happy." They share a small smile before staring out to watch the ducks swim across the pond.

* * *

_1 week later…_

Everyone is seated in the choir room chatting loudly about a variety of different things. Brittany was currently sitting behind Marley waiting for her chance to talk to the girl. The blonde had been planning to ask her about Santana all week, but unfortunately wasn't able to get the alone to do so.

She decides to improvise and taps the brunette on the shoulder. The thinner girl turns around and smiles. "Hey Brittany! How are you?"

"I'm good, we haven't talked in a while how've you been?" Brittany asks sweetly, trying her best to warm the girl up.

"Great actually, I've been doing a lot better, especially since I've been getting help." Instantly Marley looks at her hands and a blush crosses her cheeks. Brittany studies her for a moment, she can't shake the feeling that she's missing something.

"I'm so glad to hear that Mar, it's awesome you are doing better. Has Jake been the one helping you with everything?" The blonde asks, trying to sound casual.

"Pretty much, I mean my mom helps out and everyone here has been great too. I think it is kind of just a combination." The girl meets blue eyes trying to figure out where this is heading.

"Oh that great! What about Santana? I know she was supposed to be your mentor, and she struggled for a long time with body issues, I thought she'd be helping you out too." Brittany tried to keep her voice light but Marley saw through it immediately, however she didn't let the blonde see it.

"Actually I haven't really talked to her. She was an awesome mentor but it was more of just a temporary thing." Marley smiles, trying not to let her eyes give her away. Brittany quirks her eyebrow because she can tell Marley is lying, but she doesn't press the girl. Not yet.

"That makes sense I guess since she is off somewhere living her dreams. Hey what songs do you think we should do for nationals this year?"

Marley quickly lets out a sigh of relief, and continues chatting absently to Brittany.

* * *

A few days later all the glee kids are sitting in the lunch room discussing ideas for the upcoming nationals fundraisers. Everyone is immersed in conversation until Marley's phone starts to sing out Valerie by Amy Winehouse. Marley quickly pulls it out and hits the silent button with a panicky expression.

"Sorry I have to take this guys, see you in Spanish!" With that Marley runs off hurriedly. Brittany can't help the feeling that sinks low in her stomach, why would Marley's ringtone be one of Santana favorite songs? She can't help but think it's more than coincidence so she excuses herself quickly and follows the brunette.

Brittany finds the girl in an empty classroom off in a secluded hallway. She tip-toes up to the door and presses her ear to the slight crack in the wood.

"She asked about you." Marley whispers into the phone. "No I didn't say anything, and yes it's the first time. She seemed desperate though. She misses you." The brunette grimaces when she hears a sob on the other end of the phone.

"I know you're still upset hun, and it's okay I understand. You love her and she broke your heart. Hey why don't we talk about something else. Tell me about your music, oh and the new job" Brittany can hear the smile in Marley's voice and her heart speeds up, she can't be talking to Santana can she?

"That's awesome San! I can't believe that you even get to perform your songs!" Marley pauses.

"I guess it makes sense, coffee and music are kind of like your signature things. I'm really glad you are trying to make the most of it. How's the living arrangement going?" Brittany takes a deep breath, Santana is on the phone with Marley, and she's apparently making music.

She smiles at this because Santana has always wanted to get into the music industry. However, part of her heart breaks knowing that the Latina is still in contact with her friends but can't even tell the blonde she is safe.

Brittany lets a few tears fall because this is all her fault. She knows that Santana left because she picked Sam. It hurts but she needs to hear what else Marley says.

"YES! I'd love to come visit sometime! Text me your address. Maybe I can come down in few weeks? I'm sure my mom won't mind."

"Awesome! Drop them dead tonight San" Marley smiles into the phone. "I miss you too and I will call in a few days. Love ya!"

Brittany takes a deep breath, somehow someway she has to get her hands on Marley's phone because if she can manage that, she'll have Santana new address.

The blonde starts to formulate a plan in her mind as she tip-toes away from the door. Her heart swells with new hope.

* * *

**Any guesses as to how Brittany is going to get the phone or to where Santana is staying? I'd love to hear your comments and ideas for the story. Thanks for reading!**


	6. Cracking the Code

**Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

**Cracking the Code**  
**Chapter 6**

Brittany stares unblinking at the clock, only 30 seconds left until class is over. Her hearts starts to pound in her chest from the nerves. It's been a few days since she overheard Marley on the phone with Santana and she's spent every moment since working out a plan to get that phone. The one that will hopefully be the key to her locating Santana.

She taps her foot insistently on the ground as her impatience grows. In her head she counts down with the tick of the clock—

9…

8…

7…

6…

5…

4…

3…

2…

And finally, after hours of agony at school the click strikes three.

The bells rings and Brittany quickly tosses her bag over her shoulder and bolts for the door. She's supposed to be heading to the choir room for rehearsal but instead makes her way to Sam's locker.

When she'd called him crying after the incident with Marley he'd volunteered to help her retrieve the address. She couldn't believe it, after everything and Sam was still willing to help.

Her heart grew, knowing how hard it would be for him, but understanding that he cared enough for her that it didn't matter. He just wanted her to be happy.

The dancer reaches his locker in seconds and the blonde boy was there waiting. Neither says a word before grabbing hands and heading to the choir room.

Everyone is already in their seats by the time they get there but the pair doesn't sit, instead they walk over to where Mr. Shue is standing with Finn.

"Britt's feeling really sick, I think maybe she's turning into a bird." Both men stare at him in bewilderment. "I think she has the bird flu… I'm going to take her home." Wordlessly they both nod at the pair of blondes, confused expressions still etched on their faces.

The duo hurries out of the choir room and down the hall, trying to be as quiet as possible. They slow down and Brittany pulls out two black ski masks.

They pull them on and sneak down the hallway tip-toeing over toward a row of sophomore lockers. Sam quickly glances around to make sure the hallway is deserted, when he's sure they're alone he pulls a bobby pin, a pair a scissors, a marker and an empty soda can that has been cut in half from his backpack.

Brittany hurriedly positions herself down the hallway acting as a lookout, while Sam works on picking the combination lock that holds Marley's locker shut.

He uses the scissors to cut out a strip of metal from the can, making three even horizontal lines on the back with the marker. He then draws a vertical line from the middle line to the bottom of the metal.

Using his pinky he measures out two more verticals lines equidistant from the center. He connects the two outside lines with a U shape. Taking the scissors he cuts it out until there is a rounded edge. He folds the outside flaps in, followed by the inside flaps overlapping the two parts leaving only the U shape.

The blonde boy uses his finger to bend the metal into a more rounded shape. As he's about to place his metal contraption in the lock he hears Brittany let out a bird call they'd both practiced. He knows what it means—run.

He shoves the items into his hoodie pocket and sprints for the nearest classroom, ducking inside.

"Hey Brittany did you just make some sort of bird call?" She nods. "What for… Oh never mind. I thought you were going home?" Finn questions.

"Yeah I am, but I got lost and can't find my way out." She says innocently.

Finn smiles down at her, "Come on Britt I'll show you where it is." Sam holds in a snicker, he is so gullible. Does everyone really think that Brittany's that stupid?

Before he has time to answer his own question he hears Brittany make another bird noise. _She's distracting him, now's my chance._ He thinks to himself.

He bolts back to the locker and pulls out the metal contraption. He places the U shaped piece into the lock with his middle finger and thumb while pulling up on the lock with his forefinger. The lock loosens and he twists the dial to zero before sticking the bobby pin into the lock and wiggling it around.

The lock pops free and he sighs. Sam opens the locker quietly and reaches into the front pocket of Marley's backpack where he knows the phone is stashed. Part of him feels guilty for invading her privacy like this, but his need to help Brittany pushes the feeling aside.

Not wanting to waste time he pulls the phone out, zips the pocket and re-clips the lock. He pulls the mask off and shoves everything into his backpack.

As he zips up the pocket he hears voices coming his way. A group of Cheerios rounds the corner and he shoots them a dazzling smile which sends them into fits of giggles.

Before any of them can say anything he rushes out the front door of the school towards Brittany's car.

* * *

Thirty minutes later the pair sits in the parking lot, hunched over in the back seat of Brittany's car, trying to figure out the combination to Marley's phone.

The dancer groans in frustration. "Come on Sam we have to hurry we only have fifteen minutes before they get out of rehearsal!"

He waits a few seconds before looking at her. A huge grin crosses his face "Got it" he says slyly.

Brittany takes the phone from him and starts going through the text messages. Her heart stops when she finally finds one from Santana.

She takes in a sharp breath and meets Sam's eyes. "It's okay, just open it." In one quick movement she presses okay, opens the message and reads out loud.

_**Text Message- received Wednesday at 7:17pm**__  
_From San:_ Hey Mar, I can't call tonight, Jackson is having me work late at the coffee shop. But guess what? He loved my performance so much the other night that he asked me to preform again next Friday! I was hoping maybe you could make it down? Cey says that you can stay with us. Anyways let me know. I'm sending you the address for work, I perform at 8:30. We can meet there and then you can follow me home. See you soon Jelly Bean. Love ya._

Brittany's heart wrenches a little as she reads the last line. She sit frozen, her face going pale.

Her mind races trying to figure out what this text could mean. Caught up in her thoughts she doesn't realize she is voicing them.

"Is there something going on between Marley and Santana? It can't be, Marley has a boyfriend and Santana wouldn't have moved on that fast, would she?"

Sam sees the hurt in her eyes and reaches over to stroke her back. "I'm sure it's nothing B, they are probably just really good friends. And besides right now you need to focus on getting the address."

The dancer turns to him and nods before going to the next message.

_**Text Message- received Wednesday at 7:18pm**__  
From San: Jives Café 3792 W. Broadmoor Ave. Los Angeles, CA 90095_

Brittany blinks a few times, staring down at the phone. "She's in Los Angeles." Her voice comes out in a whisper. After all this time she finally knows where Santana is and it causes a tiny smile to form.

"Los Angeles… why does that seem so familiar? Do we know anyone that lives in Los Angeles?" Sam breathes out into the silence. When Brittany doesn't answer he continues, "And didn't the message say something about Cey? Who is that I wonder someone we know maybe or perhaps a new friend?"

The blonde girl just ignores his words, too lost in her own daydreams of the brunette beauty.

* * *

That night Brittany lays on her bed, staring at the piece of paper with the address to Jive's Café. She can't help the hopeful feeling stirring inside of her as she plans her next move.

After a while her eyes start to feel heavy and she gives in.

When her eyes close she lets her mind wander back to her day with Sam. Stealing the phone, almost getting caught, reading the messages, Sam's words, returning the phone…

She stops mid thought returning to Sam's words. 'Los Angeles… Cey…'

Her eyes fling open, it all makes sense now, Quinn's hesitation, Rachel's reluctance to talk, Marley's conversation. Brittany understands now. They know, they all know where the Latina is but are bound to protect her secret.

But the joke is on all of them because they've underestimated her, underestimated her need for the brunette, underestimated her determination. A huge smile crosses her lips because after three long months she finally knows the brunette's secret too.

* * *

**Love to hear everyone's thoughts. Reviews help inspire me to write quicker. Also don't forget to follow this story, you won't want to miss the next chapter! Thanks for reading!**


	7. Unbreakable

**Finally! The long awaited Santana chapter! A big shout out to everyone who has followed, favorited and reviewed this story! Anyways on with the story... Hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

**Unbreakable  
Chapter 7**

_Later that same day…_

Mercedes pulls out her keys and unlocks the door to the apartment she now shares with Santana. It swings open and she's instantly hit with a beautiful melody and a soft voice. She smiles as she savors the notes before moving further inside.

"Hey San I'm home!" the diva shouts into the apartment as she puts her purse and keys on the hooks next to the door.

"In here!" the other girl yells back at her. Within seconds Mercedes finds her way into the living room to see the Latina sitting on the couch, guitar in her lap, sheets of paper spread out, notebook in one hand and pencil in the other, scribbling furiously.

She walks to the back of the couch and places her hands on the smaller girl's shoulders. Neither says anything while Santana finishes writing but both noticeably relax at the contact.

"How was work today Cey?"

"It was pretty good actually. I'm the lead backup vocalist for this new artist we have. She's pretty good, and this is just one step closer to me being a super star." Both girls smile at this.

"What about you lil' mama, how's the songwriting coming? Got anything good for next Friday?"

Mercedes takes this opportunity to walk around the couch and sit on the coffee table facing her roommate and new best friend. She stares at her, taking in her somewhat slouched position and the hurt look in her eyes. Her mind instantly flashes back to 3 months ago when Santana showed up on her doorstep.

_Flashback… _

_She sat on the couch watching some idiots on the newest reality show trying to figure out what different objects are in the dark. The diva lets a smile cross her lips, this show is ridiculous but she can't help but find it entertaining._

_A laugh resonates through the cute two-bedroom apartment she rented, too bad her roommate bailed and left her stuck here alone._

_She continues watching her show until she hears a knock at the door. Freezing, she listens closer. _

_Who would be here at this hour? She thinks to herself. Sighing she gets up and makes her way to the door, unlocking it and pulling it open._

_She gasps at the figure standing in her doorway. Dark hair is draped in long, messy sheets, brown eyes are puffy, swollen and downcast, shoulders slump forward as the girl clutches both arms tightly across her waist. Every inch of her is soaking wet and screaming for help. _

"_San, what happened to you?" She questions, but doesn't wait for an answer. "Never mind, just come inside." The Latina nods and steps in._

_Mercedes puts a hand on her back and guides her in shutting the door as she goes. Wordlessly she runs to get the girl a towel and some dry clothes._

_In seconds she's back helping Santana dry off and change out of her soggy clothes. The diva helps herto the couch and drapes a blanket across her lap before pushing her dark hair off of pale skin. _

"_I'm going to make some tea okay?" Santana just nods._

_When the tea is made she hands a steaming mug to the other girl who takes it gingerly. "Thanks" she mumbles. The smaller girl takes a sip but never removes her eyes from the floor, then sighs._

"_I'm sorry, I just didn't know where else to go…" Her voice is hoarse and Mercedes knows that she's probably cried herself sick._

"_San it's fine. I'm just glad you called me, although I wasn't expecting you 'til morning." _

"_I didn't stop. I didn't sleep. I just kept going; I had to get as far away as possible. To somewhere I can start over, to somewhere I'll be safe, to somewhere they… she… won't find me." More tears start to fall and she pulls the girl into her arms._

_Sure the two divas have had their issues, but Santana is her home girl, and it kills her to see the usually strong, cocky and arrogant girl so broken. _

_Words can't really describe the feeling that rushed though her when she picked up Santana's call, when she heard the sobs, heard how Brittany broke her heart, for her ex nonetheless, heard how broken her friend was. _

_She hugs Santana tighter, feeling the need to protect her, to keep her safe. "It's alright lil' mama, you're safe here. I promise."_

_They stayed like that all night and many nights after that, Santana crying into her shoulder as she tried to comfort the girl she thought was unbreakable._

Seeing the look in Santana's eyes snaps her back to reality. Luckily things have gotten better since that night, well somewhat anyways.

Santana got a job at a coffee shop down the street, one of Mercedes' personal favorites. A cute little place called Jive's Café that's open 24 hours and offers live performances from indie artists every Friday night.

After that the girls officially moved her into the apartment and it wasn't long before she got the Latina to open up and let her emotions out.

One day Mercedes found herself in a music shop, wandering around admiring all of the instruments when a beautiful redwood acoustic guitar caught her eye. When she brought it home and gave it to Santana her eyes lit up for the first time since she'd showed up.

Every waking minute that the smaller girl wasn't working she was here in their living room, scribbling down lyrics, testing out chords, using the music to soothe her soul.

But even that didn't stop the nightmares from coming in the dead of night, the ones that leave Santana screaming and crying out in pain. Each time Mercedes pulls herself out of bed and rushes in to comfort the girl, slipping in beside her to rocking her to sleep, keeping her promise to make sure she's safe.

* * *

Days turn into weeks, and weeks to months. The nightmares start to slow, sure they still come, but it seems less frequent. The girls fall into a familiar pattern of work, school, music and friends.

It takes time but life starts to fill Santana again, and so does their friendship. They spend many nights, laughing, watching movies and eating popcorn as they talk about their days.

However the biggest change comes when Santana's boss, Jackson, asks the Latina to perform at the coffee shop. That was about two weeks ago, and now here she sits across from the girl she calls her best friend waiting to hear what new music she's written for her upcoming performance.

Santana lets out a sigh "I have something. It's about _her_… it hurt to write, and it hurts even more to sing, but I feel like I have to sing it because it's what's in my heart."

Mercedes reaches over the pulls the smaller girl's chin up. "I bet its great lil' mama. I know things are still hard but it's going to be okay. I actually can't wait to hear it, I like listening to your music because it's like this part of you that no one gets to see and it's beautiful."

They share a small smile and sit in silence for a while.

"Thanks Cey, I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Yeah, your right you totally need me, I'm just that awesome." Mercedes jokes, which causes Santana to roll her eyes.

"Have you talked to the girl's lately? Did you tell them about the show" the diva questions excitedly.

"Quinn called a few days ago; she's pretty excited about the show. Since she's done with classes already she's planning on flying out on Wednesday. Rachel emailed yesterday saying that she wasn't sure if she'll be able to make it but that she's going to try. Oh and I talked to Jelly Bean earlier today, she's flying out on Friday and going to meet us at the shop."

"That's awesome! I am so excited to see everyone. Marley's staying with us right? What about the others?" Mercedes asks, unable to hide her excitement over the whole situation.

"I offered for them both to stay here but if Rachel comes they're going to get a hotel room, if not Quinn's going to crash here too." Santana smiles as she thinks about her girls. They've really been amazing through all of this, she's lucky to have friends like this, friends who love her and protect her, and who keep her secret so a certain someone doesn't find her.

"Excellent! Now I say you put Phoenix away, we have some ice cream and watch I Toddlers and Tiaras re-runs!"

Santana smiles at the diva and places Phoenix in her guitar case before hurrying over to join her bestie on the couch, letting all thoughts of the Blonde who haunts her dreams fade away.

* * *

**There you have it, the Santana chapter. Next chapter will be the big performance chapter! Also you get to find out about the song Santana will be singing, Marley's connection with Santana and most of all what happens with Brittany! So stay tuned, and don't forget to follow, favorite and most of all review. Thanks for reading!**


	8. The Phoenix and the Flame

**Finally! The long awaited chapter! This is two parts, so here is the first. Second will hopefully be up by the weekend. Just a quick reminder that I do not own glee or the song used in this chapter. All rights go to Ryan Murphy and Sara Barellias. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**The Phoenix and the Flame  
Chapter 8**

_Friday Afternoon…_

Santana's standing by the counter, watching her co-workers serve up orders of coffee, tea and smoothies. She can feel her nerves pulsing through her, sure she still has four hours before her performance but that doesn't do anything to keep her calm.

Lost in her thoughts she misses the familiar ring of the small bells that hang on the door of the café.

"It's been a while since I've seen a flame burn that bright…" a sweet voice resonates through the shop. Santana turns around with a huge smile plastered on her lips.

"Jelly bean! I can't believe you're actually here!"

They each take several steps until they're standing only a foot apart. They don't embrace, but instead just stay frozen staring at the other, rich chocolate orbs finding ice blue ones.

"I've missed you." Marley tells the smaller girl as she caresses a tan cheek.

"Me too… so much." Santana whispers back as she leans into the gentle touch.

In seconds their arms are around each other, holding tightly. It takes a while for them to realize they're in the middle of a coffee shop full of people, and particularly people that know Santana, since she works here.

They pull away but don't take their eyes off the other, "Come on let's get some drinks and catch up," Marley says brightly.

Ten minutes later they girls are sitting at a small round table in the back, chatting endlessly about school, work, glee and their friends sipping on chai tea lattes.

"So what's going on with Ryder and Jake? Made a decision yet?" Santana asks.

"Actually I really haven't been spending much time with either of them. Honestly I'm tired of being treated like someone's possession or a trophy they can compete for. I mean sure they're both cute, but I'm just not that into either of them." She says with a shrug.

"I told you boys were morons!" The Latina giggles out, not being able to suppress her giddiness about her… her what exactly? Friend? Protector? Confidante? Secret Keeper? Somewhere in the back of her mind she knows it's somehow more than any of those things. This thought triggers a memory…

_Flashback…_

"_Marley! Marley! Come on sweetheart come out of there. I know you're still upset about sectionals but I'm here for you. I want to help."_

_After several long seconds the taller girl pushes the stall door open. She steps out and immediately Santana wraps her in a hug. _

_Tears fall onto the Latina's dress but she doesn't care. Even though most people think she's just a cold-hearted bitch, and that may be true, but when it comes to the people she cares about, the people she let's in, she'll do anything for them._

_As she holds her friend she realizes that she's never really let this girl in, never really dropped her guard but somehow this broken, blue-eyed beauty managed to tug down the walls of her heart, with her songbird's voice and sweet disposition, with her chocolate curls and sad blue eyes._

"_Marley it's okay. It's all going to be okay. I want you to know that I'm here and that I know what it's like. I struggled for years with how I looked. Fought with myself every day because food was the one thing I had control over, unlike the rest of my life. But I finally realized that I could deal with my anger and hurt in a different way, that I didn't have to starve myself because it wasn't really helping."_

_The taller girl pulls away and looks into her eyes seeing the honesty there and she smiles. "Thanks San."_

"_Anytime. Now come on let's get out of this bathroom."_

_The pair spends the next hour talking and laughing in Santana's bedroom, really getting to know each other. It's something they both needed desperately. She's been lonely ever since her breakup with Brittany, but she knows she had to do it because Brittany deserved happiness. _

"_Mar, I love talking with you but I really wish you'd let me make you something to eat…" The taller girl shakes her head. _

_"I just can't yet. I'm sorry."_

_Santana just looks at her for a few seconds before speaking. "Stay here, I have an idea." _

_Minutes later the Latina's sitting down next to Marley on her bed holding a bag of jelly beans. "I know it's hard, but I want to help… So let's take baby steps okay? Jelly beans helped me when I started forcing myself to eat again, maybe they can help you too."_

_Marley eyes the candy skeptically, "I don't know, I don't thi..." She can't finish her words because she's interrupted._

"_For me Mar… Please…" The pleading in her voice sounds strange to both girls, because she's badass bitch Santana Lopez, and she doesn't plead, well she didn't—until now._

"_Okay. For you." Santana reaches into the bag and pulls out a cherry flavored candy and brings it to Marley's pale lips. She opens her mouth and takes the tiny, sugary treat._

"_That wasn't so bad right?" She asks in a sweet voice._

"_Not with you here." They share a smile._

"_So I was wondering if maybe you'd want to stay over tonight?" The questions catches Santana off guard but it makes her smile. She likes being with Marley because there's no pressure, and it's just a simple friendship. It's refreshing._

"_I'd love to."_

Marley snaps her fingers in front of Santana's face pulling her out of her memory. "Where'd you go just now?"

"I was thinking of that first real day we spent together, with the jelly beans." This brings a smile to her friend's lips.

"That's one of my best memories. You saved me that day you know?"

This causes the Latina to blush slightly before replying "In a way I think you saved me too."

They both stay silent for a while before Marley speaks up again.

"So how are you holding up here? I mean I know you like LA, and living with Mercedes and this place… but I want to know how you're really doing with everything…"

The look Santana sees in blue eyes makes her whole body feel warm; flames seem to have erupted inside of her, an effect that the tall singer usually has on the Latina. It this feeling that reminds her she has to tell the truth, because this is Marley.

"Some days are better than others. It still hurts, and the nightmares still come, but I'm managing. I think it's getting a little easier though, I mean I'll always have this part of me that broken and pining for her, that's inevitable, but it's slowly getting better. I'm getting stronger, and I have you and the girls to thank for it."

Marley reaches over and grasps her hands and their eyes lock. Although no words are exchanged the fire Marley sees burning bright in Santana's eyes speaks volumes.

* * *

Their gaze is finally broken when they hear two familiar voices calling them from across the room.

"San!" "Marley!" Quinn shouts to the Latina at the same moment Mercedes calls for the tall brunette.

They all hug, exchanging greetings as they move toward a larger table right in front of the stage.

"How was it getting here Q?" Santana asks before sipping her coffee.

"Not bad actually, and so far, I love your city, it's really awesome."

"Not as good as New York I bet." Mercedes lets out with a snort.

This comment causes Quinn to turn a bright shade of red. The other three laugh. "Speaking of New York is Rach coming?" Marley directs her question at Quinn who shrugs.

"I don't know, but I hope so." She lets out a sigh, "For Santana of course!"

This brings on another round of giggles from the foursome.

Time ticks away as they chat aimlessly, until Marley looks up and notices that there's only 30 minutes until Santana has to perform.

"San, look at the time, it's almost time. Do you need to get Phoenix and warm up?" The girl nods at this and Quinn gives her a questioning look.

"Phoenix is San's guitar." Mercedes answers with a chuckle. "Oh, now it all makes sense!" They share another laugh, however at that same moment Santana feels a set a small hands clasp over her eyes.

"What? Who's there?" Santana demands in her most bitchy voice.

"Guess…" the silky voice whispers back.

The voice sends the Latina straight out of her seat. "RACHEL!" she yells before tackling the tiny diva in a bear hug.

"Can't breathe Sanny." Rachel huffs out hoarsely. The darker skinned girl lets go and gives her a sheepish grin.

"Sorry, I'm just so happy you're here! I haven't gotten to see you since all this, since we because so close actually." Rachel smiles at this then looks around the table greeting her other friends until she meets Quinn's eyes.

"Hi Quinn." She says shyly to the blonde. This causes another blush to spread across pale cheeks. "Hey Rach."

They hold each other's gaze for a second, flirting bashfully. "Sorry to break up our reunion but San has to get back stage soon. She's on in 15." Marley informs the group again. Santana reluctantly stands, full of nerves and not really wanting to leave her friends.

"Why don't you go with her Mar?" Mercedes suggests. A small smile forms on Santana's lips as she extends her hand to the taller brunette. She takes it with a giggle and they turn to walk away hand-in-hand.

As they walk off Marley catches their conversation. "She's perfect for San and it's obvious they have feelings for each other. I hope that someone makes a move soon." Quinn whispers.

"I don't think it will be long, they spend pretty much every day texting or talking on the phone. Santana keeps telling me they are just close friends but..." Mercedes addes.

"There's something more there. Maybe Marley will be to one to fix what Brittany broke." Rachel finished.

Marley can't suppress the cheesy grin that spreads across her lips. Sure she'd never thought of herself as being interested in girls, but when she's with Santana she just can't help but wonder if there is something else she's feeling. Because even though the Latina is her best friend, sometimes it just feels like it more than that.

* * *

The pair of brunettes sits "backstage", which is actually the tiny employee's lounge, facing each other and waiting for Santana's name to be called. Phoenix is perched in the Latina's lap, one hand on the neck of the guitar, the other holding on to Marley's hand.

"I'm so nervous," she breaths out shakily.

"Don't be, you'll be amazing. I know it." The taller girl squeezes her hand gently.

"I just don't want to choke on stage. I think I'll be okay for my first few songs since they're my older material. But I am terrified I won't be able to sing when it comes time for the newest song I wrote because it hurts."

The last part confuses her friend so she explains. "This song is something I wrote about Brittany. All my other songs are about other people, mostly you…" Santana takes in a quick breath trying to figure out how to explain herself.

"What I mean is that you guys, Quinn, Rach, Cey and you are my inspiration." Marley feels her heart pick up a pace at this but she tries to not let it show.

"I can't wait to hear them San. And as far as this new song, maybe it will feel good to get it out, let out your emotions so you can start to really move on, maybe even find someone else…"

Just as there eyes meet a males voice echoes through the building speakers. "Welcome everyone! As most of you probably know, I'm Jackson, the owner and your host for this evening. We are so glad you could join us tonight because you are in for something very special. Right from our own backyard, please welcome our very own Miss Lopez!"

Before Jackson can finish introducing Santana, Marley leans over and presses her lips to plump ones. Tan hands instantly cup pale cheeks. The kiss is slow and sensual, and only lasts about 10 seconds before the taller singer pulls away. "San just remember that you're the fire, the flame..." She hesitates for a brief second. "and if you're the flame I guess that makes me the moth."

With that Marley gives her one last peck on the lips and disappears. Words hanging in the air. _Like the moth to the flame._

* * *

She stares after the girl smiling like an idiot, but she doesn't have time to think about what the kiss means right now because Jackson is announcing her name, so she steps out and takes the stage.

"Hey everyone, as many of you know I'm Santana and tonight I'm going to play some of my original music, kind of the best from my repertoire. Many of these songs were inspired by a special group of people, these people have been there for me, protected me, supported me and most of all they've loved me. This group of girls is my inspiration and the reason I'm here for you today. So I really hope you enjoy tonight." Loud applause fill the room and Santana lets herself glance down at the table of her friends.

Rachel is holding Quinn's hand tightly and they have matching smiles on the their pink lips. Mercedes is yelling out, "Get em' lil' mama! That's my girl!" But Marley's expression is the most wonderful of all. A single tear falls for her bright blue eyes, a smile plays on her lips and her hands are curled and pressed together forming a small heart over her real one.

Seeing these faces gives the Latina all the courage in the world and she starts to play. Song after song, wild applause echo, soft chords hum and her raspy angelic voice penetrates the air.

When she strikes the last chord of her 9th song she lets out a deep breath. She can do this. Her eyes search the crowd to find Marley again who smiles encouragingly.

"So this last song is something I just recently finished and it's very different from my normal style, but it comes from my heart so I really hope that everyone will listen and hear the words, take heed in them, find shelter in them, hold them in your heart."

She strums her fingers over Phoenix's strings and takes a deep breath before she begins.

_Car is parked, bags are packed, but what kind of heart doesn't look back  
At the comfortable glow from the porch, The one I will still call yours?_

_All those words came undone and now I'm not the only one  
Facing the ghosts that decide if the fire inside still burns_

_All I have, all I need, she's the air I would kill to breathe  
Holds my love in her hands, still I'm searching for something  
Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again  
I'll breathe again_

_Open up next to you and my secrets become your truth  
And the distance between that was sheltering me comes in full view_

_Hang my head, break my heart built from all I have torn apart  
And my burden to bear is a love I can't carry anymore_

_All I have, all I need, she's the air I would kill to breathe  
Holds my love in her hands, still I'm searching for something  
Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again_

_It hurts to be here  
I only wanted love from you  
It hurts to be here  
What am I gonna do?_

_All I have, all I need, she's the air I would kill to breathe  
Holds my love in her hands, still I'm searching  
All I have, all I need, she's the air I would kill to breathe  
Holds my love in her hands, still I'm searching for something_

_Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again  
I'll breathe again  
I'll breathe again  
I'll breathe again  
I'll breathe again_

As Santana sings she pours everything she has into the words, every emotion racing through her and it feels good. The crowd is captivated, everyone loves the song. All expect one.

In the tiny corner next to the door a tall figure hides in shadows. Her arms are wrapped tightly around her torso as she listens to the beautiful voice of the girl she loves.

Without anyone knowing Brittany slipped in earlier that evening, staying hidden from the people who've lied to her. The people who've kept her from finding her love. Hurt and anger rush through her body but she stays still. Watching.

She sees Quinn, Mercedes and Marley talking to Santana, sees the tiny brunette diva sneak up on them, sees the flirty smile she share with Quinn. Brittany sees the smiles on their faces, and hears their laughter. It's almost enough to break her, but not quite.

It hurts, seeing Santana so happy, so surround by people that she too used to call friends, but for Brittany it doesn't matter because she's finally found her love again.

Her heart falls when she sees Santana take Marley's hand as they walk away. Her eyes bore into the singer's back but she quickly snaps out of it when she hears giggles from the table of her old friends. She focuses all her attention on them, but can't hear what they're talking about, so she ignores them and waits for the Latina to perform.

When Santana takes the stage she sucks in a big breath because she can see her perfect face for the first time in months, and her heart skips a beat.

Santana's speech stings her heart, but she can't pinpoint why. Her heart screams that it's because she should be the one making Santana feel all of those things. It should be her and no one else, but she isn't the one anymore because she choose Sam, at this thought a tear falls.

Her eyes are trained on the Latina, trying to understand, trying to really see her, but Santana doesn't even glance back at her, she keeps her perfect brown eyes fixed on the girls in the front row.

Listening to the Latina's songs causes her heart to race, they're beautiful just like their writer.

Brittany finally feels herself smile, but it doesn't last long.

When Santana introduces her final song it feels even more painful somehow but she can't figure out the cryptic words of her former lover.

However when the song begins and Santana pours her soul out to the audience, her heart shatters.

"_Hang my head, break my heart built from all I have torn apart and my burden to bear is a love I can't carry anymore."_

These words ring through her forcing tears to fall. She hears the pain behind the lyrics, sees the hurt in those deep chocolate orbs and it's worse than any physical pain.

"_All I have, all I need, she's the air I would kill to breathe, holds my love in her hands, still I'm searching for something…"_

As the song draws closer to the end, the words sting more. She knows, knows without any shadow of a doubt that this song was written about her. For her. Brittany understands that she's the air Santana wants so desperately. But when she chose to walk away the Latina was forced to start looking for something else to give her air, to give her life.

Her thoughts are jumbled and broken, but there is one repetitive phrase running through her mind. _She can't breathe because of me, so instead she's stuck without air gasping for breath, that's how much she loved me._

At the same moment Brittany comes to this realization Santana's eyes find ocean blue in the darkness. The blonde can tell by the look in her eyes that she recognizes the familiar face of her ex-lover. Every possible emotion crosses her perfect tanned face in a second, shock, fear, hurt, longing, hope, confusion, anger, despair.

They keep their eyes fixed on the other as the song finishes. But before Brittany can blink Santana is bolting off stage, guitar in hand. Everyone claps, but looks around puzzled, wondering why their performer ran.

Marley screams as she runs to find her girl. "Santana! Santana!"

It's then that the blonde feels three pairs of eyes on her, anger and confusion evident on three faces with mirrored precision.

Brittany locks eyes with Quinn who has a look of absolute contempt on her usually sweet face. She takes a deep breath and turns to flee.

* * *

**Well there you have it! I hope everyone enjoys this chapter. Don't forget to review, follow and favorite! And if you haven't seen Santana's performance of Cold-Hearted make sure you check it out! It's wonderful!**


	9. The Aftermath

**Thank you all for the reviews, favorites and follows, it is my inspiration to keep writing this and as promised I have the next chapter ready. S****o anyways, for everyone else who's been supportive, this is for you! **

* * *

**The Aftermath**  
**Chapter 9**

Mercedes, Quinn and Rachel sit staring as Brittany runs out of the café. They're frozen, still in shock and unsure of what to do next.

"I'm going to go after her. It's Brittany after all, and I don't want her doing anything stupid." The petite diva lets out after a long sigh.

Her friends nod but don't say anything, so she gets up and heads for the door.

Quinn lets out a low hiss, "How the fuck did she even find us? I mean we were all so careful, trying to make sure that this didn't happen."

"I don' t know Q, I can't even comprehend it. I mean we all know Brittany isn't the brightest crayon in the box." Mercedes comments in exasperation.

"That's an understatement, and seriously how dare she show her face here after everything she's put Santana through," Quinn huffs, anger evident in her expression.

"I don't know, but maybe she realized that she made a mistake and came looking. I mean she tried to get answers out of all of us, so we knew she was looking. Maybe she wants to make things better…"

Quinn scoffs and rolls her eyes.

"I know how mad you are at Britt, and I am too, but we need to be there for Santana and help her get through this."

Quinn nods at the diva, because even though they don't always agree they're both here for the same reason—to protect Santana.

* * *

"Brittany! Brittany wait!" Rachel yells down the street trying to find the dancer. Her eyes roam the sidewalk and stop on a nearby bench. The blonde is sitting there knees pulled to her chest, head hanging.

The brunette feels her heart wrench at the sight, because no matter how mad she is at the dancer for breaking Santana she still cares for the girl.

Taking slow steps she moves to sit beside her but doesn't say anything. Silence fills the air around them until the blonde finally looks up, tears filling her blue eyes.

"Rachel… I…." She stutters.

"Brittany, why are you here? How did you even find us?"

The brunette hears the girl's sharp intake of breathe.

"I just wanted to see her, I needed too. I've been looking for her ever since she left." Rachel sighs at Brittany's words but the blonde continues. "I didn't stop because I still want her, I need her and I wasn't going to give up. It took me a long time, but I did it, no thanks to you or any of the other girls."

Rachel tries to calm herself with a few deep breaths. "You chose Sam remember? You'd don't have a right to want her anymore, you gave that up. And don't even try to make me feel bad about not helping you because I don't." The brunette crosses her arms and looks away in agitation.

"I made a mistake choosing Sam, okay? I was just so angry at her for breaking up with me that I wanted her to feel that too. I know it's wrong but…"

"Wow Brittany, that's low even for you. You have no idea what you put her through. No idea the mess you left her in." Another voices echoes through the street.

The dancer snaps her head up to see Mercedes and Quinn standing next to the bench she's sharing with Rachel.

"I can say the same thing about her. She broke up with me and left me alone, I don't see the difference!" Brittany retorts back trying not to lose her temper.

"There's a huge difference! Santana loved you and even when she broke it off she promised that she'd always love you. She wanted you guys to end up together in the end and she made that fucking clear. She even planned on marrying you one day, and being the mother of your children! She was trying to make sure that that happened! Don't you get that Brittany? Quinn spits out at the other blonde, her voice full of poison.

Brittany looks down at the ground but the blonde singer can't rein in her anger so she continues shouting at the other girl.

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe breaking up with you was hard for her too? It was hell! I spent countless hours on the phone listening to her sob, she didn't leave her room for weeks because she was so broken up about you…" Quinn can't contain herself and lunges toward Brittany.

The dancer lets out a scared squeak but Mercedes blocks the blonde singer from attacking. "She wouldn't want that." The diva whispers into her ear and Quinn stops fighting.

"What Quinn was trying to say is that it's different because Santana made sure you knew how much she loved you… but you? You basically told her that she was nothing more than a friend. That she wasn't anything else to you; she thinks you don't love her." Rachel clarifies.

Brittany let out a sob, but everyone else stays silent. They stay motionless for several long minutes before anyone speaks.

"But I do love her." The words fall from the dancer's pink lips in barely a whisper.

"Britt… She thinks that you never did. We spent a lot of time trying to fix her because you left her broken and almost beyond repair. It took days just to get her to stop crying, weeks to get her back on her feet. And in the middle of the night I still hear her screaming from the nightmares you left her with." Mercedes lets out in a sad voice as she continues holding a still angry Quinn.

"I just… I just want to see her. I need her to know that I love her, even if she doesn't want me back." Another sob rips through her chest and she pulls her legs tighter to her body, trying to hold in her despair.

"Fuck no!" Quinn hisses out. Rachel shoots her a warning look.

"Quinn why don't you go find San and Mar, tell them to go home. Mercedes can just stay with us tonight." The darker skinned girl lets the blonde free.

She nods to Rachel and turns to leave giving Brittany one last dirty look.

As Quinn disappears inside the darker skinned girl turns back to the dancer. "I really don't think that it's a good idea for you to see her, she's already going to be a mess. Luckily Marley is here to fix things."

"I have to agree." Rachel comments.

"I don't understand. Why can't I see her? If she knew I loved her it would make things better, I know it would." The dancer let's out in a soft voice.

Everyone sighs.

"We've spent months trying to fix the mess you made, and when all of this happened the four of us—Me, Quinn, Mercedes and Marley swore to do whatever we had to do to keep Santana safe. So forgive us if we aren't your biggest fans. You showing up here tonight has already done a lot of damage." The tiny brunette answers in a stern voice.

"But shouldn't it be Santana choice to see me or not?" Brittany tries to reason, grasping at straws. She needs to see the Latina. She has to.

"Rach, I mean I guess we could see. Maybe…" The taller diva doesn't finish because the other brunette understands.

"We'll talk to her in the morning and see, but don't get your hopes up ok?" Brittany nods eagerly.

"Thanks." With that the three part ways.

* * *

"Santana! Santana!" Marley calls out as she run after Santana. She sees the smaller girl throwing open the employee's lounge door as she rushes inside.

She hurriedly follows, walks into the room, and calls out again "Come on sweetie, it's just me."

Marley hears a small cry from the other side of the room and it breaks her heart hearing Santana like this, because unfortunately the sound is all too familiar.

She walks over and kneels beside the Latina who's curled into a ball in the corner. Wordlessly she pulls the tiny girl into her arms and hugs her, wanting to take the pain away, wanting to keep her protected forever.

"Shhh it's okay baby, I'm here. I'm here." Marley rocks the girl, running her fingers through disheveled hair.

"It hurts." Santana whispers as she clings tighter to the tall singer.

"I know, but I'm here, I'll keep you safe." Marley tightens her grip again.

They stay intertwined for a while, holding each other as tears spill from Santana's eyes. When Marley tries to pull away to look at the smaller girl she sees panic cross her face.

"Don't leave me." Her voice comes out tiny and broken, this kills Marley.

"I'm won't ever leave you. I will stay right here with you, always." The taller girl places a kiss on a tanned cheek.

Just as her lips brush warm, wet skin the door opens and someone steps inside. Marley feels Santana tense in her arms as they both make out a tall, blonde girl. However when she steps closer they both relax, realizing it's Quinn.

The blonde walks over to them and helps the brunette get Santana to her feet before embracing them.

Marley feels Quinn's lips graze her ear and she freezes. "Brittany wants to see her, we told her not yet but Rachel promised that we'd ask her eventually. For tonight though, just take her home, Cey is going to stay with us at the hotel. I think all of us there will be overwhelming, and it's you she really needs."

All three girl break away from the hug and Quinn's eyes instantly find chocolate brown ones. "San, everything is going to be okay. You go home with Mar, Rach, Cey and I will be there first thing in the morning okay?"

Santana nods numbly.

"I love you San, stay strong. I'll see you tomorrow." Quinn kisses Santana's forehead and walks away.

The Latina stares unseeing after the blonde, numb, for a few seconds before Marley places a hand on her lower back. "Come on, let's go home."

* * *

Thirty minutes later they arrive at the apartment that Santana shares with Mercedes, unlocking the door and heading inside.

"San why don't you go wash your face and put some PJs on, I'll make you some hot tea okay?"

The smaller girl nods and heads from the bedroom, exhausted and drained, her mind still in shock from seeing Brittany.

She moves slowly into the room, changing her clothes before heading to the bathroom where she washes her face in cold water, erasing the pain and makeup stains.

When she's done she sits down on her bed, trying to clear her mind.

A few minutes later Marley comes into the room holding two cups of hot liquid. She takes a seat next to the Latina and hands her the cup.

"How are you doing?" Marley asks gently before taking a sip.

"Honestly, I don't really know. I'm still so confused. How did she even know where I was? Why did she have to show up, just when I was getting things together, and shatter my heart again?" As the words pour out the tears return. "What did I do to deserve this Mar? She made her choice, why can't she just leave me be? Why is everything falling apart" Her shoulders slump forward and she covers her face with her free hand.

"I wish I had the answers for you. But I want you to know that you aren't alone in this, you have Cey, Rach, Q and me. We're all here for you and I promise I won't let you fall apart, or let anyone hurt you like that again."

Marley puts her cup down and gestures for Santana to do the same. When the mugs are forgotten the taller girl reaches for Santana's hands and holds tightly as they sit on the bed facing each other.

A few more tears wash over tan cheeks, but chocolate eyes look deep into ice blue ones. "Thank you Mar, for everything." She pulls her friend into a hug.

When they break apart the Latina lets out a loud yawn.

"Come on sleeping beauty, bed time," at this Santana crawls under the blankets and snuggles in. Marley tucks her in carefully and places a kiss on her forehead before she turns to walk away.

"Stay." The word echoes around the room, bouncing around and whispering in the semi-darkened room.

Neither needs to say anything more and in minutes Marley is in her PJs and crawling in next to Santana. She pulls the smaller girl to her chest and protectively encircling her body.

Darkness consumes them and the taller girl starts to drift off when she's interrupted by the sound of crying.

Her arms tighten around the petite girl, "Shhh it's okay, I'm here." Santana snuggles in impossibly closer at the words.

"I love you Mar." Santana whispers, but before Marley can respond Santana places a soft kiss on her lips.

"I love you too, now go to sleep baby girl. I'll keep you safe, always."


	10. From the Ashes

**Thank you all so much for your review, follows and favorites! I tried to explain a lot in this chapter to try and clear a few things up for some of you but if you still have questions feel free to PM me. **

**Anyways on with the story.**

* * *

**From the Ashes  
Chapter 10**

_The morning after:_

Sunlight streams in through the window landing on pale and tan flesh. Santana's back is pressed against Marley's front as she spoons the smaller girl, arms wrapped protectively around her.

A bird perches on the windowsill, carelessly singing a delicate melody. The noise rouses the smaller girl who opens her eyes groggily taking in the morning light that fills the room. Inhaling deeply she feels the arms around her body, snuggling back into them.

Memories of last night race through her conscious mind, but they don't frighten her like they did before. However there's a twinge of sadness as she recalls the look on Brittany's face but the warmth she feels in her heart for the girl who's embrace she's wrapped in overshadows everything else.

This feeling is something unfamiliar to the Latina, but not completely new. This feeling has the same sense of protection that Quinn's arms provide, the same comfort Rachel's words offer and the same joy that Mercedes' presence brings. But it also has something of its own, something she doesn't know how to explain.

Half an hour passes like this, Santana lying still, sorting out her feelings in her head as Marley protectively cradles her in a peaceful slumber. It's then that the Latina notices the other girl stirring and she doesn't hesitate to slowly shift her body until they are facing each other, only inches apart.

"Hi." Marley says with a small smile.

"Hey." Santana breathes out.

"How are you this morning?" As she asks the question the taller girl instinctively tightens her hold on her companion.

Santana smiles. "I'm okay, doing a little better but everything is still really jumbled. I just, I can't even believe that Brittany showed up last night… it hurt so much seeing her again, but in a way it was nice too." She sighs, "That probably makes no sense to you."

"No, I get it. I mean you've been trying to move on for so long and then there she is, out of nowhere, where you least expect to see her. I can't even imagine how hard that was." Marley reaches up and brushes a stray piece of hair from the other girl's cheek.

Santana takes a deep breath, collecting her thoughts. "It's just that I was finally starting to feel like I could put my feelings for her aside and put everything that's happened behind me. But seeing her again just reminded me that no matter what I do I'm never going to be completely over her. She's just too important and I loved her too much…" Santana pauses, afraid to admit the last part of her revelation out loud.

"You still love her." Marley finishes easily. There is no sarcasm or hurt in her voice, no trace of anger or jealousy, just warmth.

Santana just stares at the brunette, not saying anything because she's in awe of this girl lying here with her.

Marley takes this as an opportunity to speak her mind. "It's okay you know… to still love her. She was everything to you for a long time, and before all this mess I heard you were the perfect couple." She smiles again. "Who knows, maybe you guys will get another chance, maybe you're even soul mates."

"Honestly Mar, I don't know what we are or if we'll ever get another chance, but what I do know is that these have been some of the hardest months of my life, but also some of the best."

Marley stares into her brown eyes giving her a questioning look.

"Things have been hell for me, you know that better than anyone. But without all this mess, I don't know where we would be… and you've given me so much, you've given me everything Mar and I really need to thank you for that."

Marley blushes a little, "Don't forget about Rach and Q and Mercedes, they've been there for you too."

"Yeah they have and I love them for it. I don't know where I'd be without any of you but especially you." Santana whispers the last part as if it's a secret. Santana looks like she wants to say more so the brunette nods her head and gives a tiny grin.

"Ever since the day we met you've been there. Even before everything with Brittany, you were there for me when no one else was. You didn't let me push you away even when I wouldn't call or text for weeks; you demanded my attention and forced me to see how much you cared about me, and how much I cared about you. You didn't let me run away and be a coward, you stood by me and fought for me, that means so much."

Santana can see a single tear fall down Marley's cheek and she wipes it away.

"Last night you were the only thing that kept me together, I don't know what I'd do without you." The brunette pulls her closer until their noses touch.

"San you saved me, you gave me my life back. I wasn't about to let you walk away from me I wasn't about to lose you. And you will never ever have to worry about doing this without me because I'm here to stay." Marley grins wider. "You're stuck with me."

Santana lets out a giggle, but it dies quickly.

"Mar, I think we should talk about… everything…"

"Shhh. It's okay. I know we need to talk but right now I just want you to listen. I know you're still in love with Brittany, I know that she's 'It' for you and I want you to have that." She pauses to take a breath, but before she can continue the Latina presses their lips together.

A few seconds later they break apart but their foreheads remain touching. "I love you." The whisper falls from Santana's lips effortlessly. The moment, the revelation should be awkward and shocking but it isn't. Both girls can feel that it's right, because they do love each other.

"I love you too." Marley whispers before kissing her again. "You're my best friend no matter what happens and nothing changes that." She pauses and kisses plump lips again. "I just want you to know that I don't expect this to turn into anything more, because I know in my heart that you and Brittany are supposed to be together in the end, and that's okay with me. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't need you, that I didn't want to hold you and kiss you and just do whatever I can to make you happy. I'll always want that with you, because I can feel it, this is how we're supposed to be."

Santana can't stop the tears that fall. "I can feel it too. So let's just be. You and Me. Me and You. Who cares what tomorrow will bring, because for right now I just want to stay here with you."

"I'd love that San, but I want to ask. What's your plan as far as Brittany?"

"Honestly I just want to start working to rebuild a friendship with her and I'll see how it feels from there. Maybe we have a future together maybe not. I don't even know if she loves me but she came here for something right, so she must still care. This mess is as much my fault as hers and I want to work through it together and get our friendship back." Santana's eyes are stinging again. It hurts talking about Brittany because the girl broke her heart with her admission that she didn't want to be more than friends.

Marley moves her hand to caress Santana's cheek, trying to comfort her.

They lay together in silence for a while heads still resting on the pillows, foreheads still touching, the brunette's hand caressing a tan cheek. Santana reaches up and covers the pale hand with her own. Eyes lock and they share so much without words.

For a second they forget everything and lose themselves in the comfort of each other. No romance, no sappy declarations of eternal love, just the warmth they stir inside the other.

Marley's arms wrap around the Latina's neck and pull her impossibly closer. Plump lips find peach ones and they move slowly together. This kiss isn't eager or lust-filled it's simple and sweet, a comforting and loving gesture.

The Latina's arms cling tighter to Marley's waist as the taller girl's tongue asks for entrance. They dance together with ease, a slow rhythm. Seconds turn into minutes as they move together.

A noise breaks them apart and they smile, "How do you do that Jelly Bean? One minute I feel like I'm falling apart and then next thing I know you've managed to pick up the pieces and make me feel whole again."

The taller girl smiles but can't respond because they hear their friends knocking at Santana's bedroom door so they sit up but don't move apart.

"You can come in." The Latina calls out. The door swings open and three pairs of eyes land on the pair. Rachel claps happily and Mercedes smiles but Quinn rolls her eyes and smirks.

"Come on cuddle bunnies, time to get out of bed." Quinn remarks sarcastically. Marley hides her blush by burying her face in Santana's shoulder.

Everyone lets out a laugh.

* * *

An hour later the five girls sit around the table finishing up their lunch.

"Okay so is someone going to mention the huge elephant in the room or are we going to pretend like last night never happened?" Rachel says hurriedly, unable to contain herself any longer.

"Rachel!" Quinn snaps at her warningly.

"What?! We need to talk about it!" She says back as she crosses her arms. Mercedes shoots Santana a worried look but doesn't say anything, she knows better than to get in the middle of _that_ lover's spat.

"No, it's okay guys. Rachel's right. We do need to talk about it. I don't even know what happened last night after I ran off…" She trails off, a hint of pain in her voice. Marley quickly reaches for her and rubs her thumb soothing along the back of the Latina's hand.

"Well..." Mercedes starts, unsure of what to say. "After you went backstage, Rachel followed Brittany, she found her outside sitting on a bench…"

Rachel takes over "She was pretty upset, but I couldn't stop myself from bombarding her with questions. But when she started answering them I just got angry and snapped at her about Sam after she said she'd made a mistake…"

This causes Santana's heart to stop. Her eyes fill with tears, she never wanted Brittany to hurt, that's why she'd broken up with her in the first place because she wanted the blonde to be happy.

"I was just about to yell at her when Q and Cey showed up. Quinn made a… um… comment and Brittany started to get mad. But you know how Q is, she doesn't back down." Rachel pointedly looks at the blonde who shrugs and blows her a kiss. Rachel huffs but a tiny smile plays on her lips.

"Anyways," Mercedes continues, "Quinn started yelling at her, and Brittany tried to defend herself but Quinn wasn't having any of it. She was screaming at her, and then she lunged at her."

Santana and Marley both gasp and look over at the blonde.

"Such a drama queen! I didn't even touch her, remember? You wouldn't let me." Quinn answers in an irritated voice. "But I wish you would've." She adds in a mumbled voice.

"After that Brittany deflated fast, and I sent Q to go get you. Rachel and I talked to her for a while longer, and she said… she wants…" The darker skinned girl stops, afraid of her friend's reaction. She's seen Santana so broken and she doesn't want her to go back to that place.

Santana looks at Mercedes and sees the apprehension in her eyes. She swallows hard as more tears fall but she manages to meet Marley's eyes.

The pair has a silent conversation before the taller girl pulls the Latina into her lap and Santana hides her face. "Go ahead Cey, she needs to know. She'll be okay."

Mercedes nods, understanding that Marley has discussed this to some length with Santana. "Lil' mama, Brittany wants to see you. We told her no and she was pretty upset. She begged and pleaded, until we finally told her we'd ask you…"

Santana peaks out from her curtain of hair and her eyes are wide. This whole conversation is killing her. She hates that Brittany is hurting, hates that the blonde chose Sam, hates that she is making her feel this heartbreak all over again.

After a minute of silence she meets Quinn's eyes across the table. "I can't. I'm not ready." Santana says in a whisper.

"Shhh its okay, you don't have too. We'll tell her you don't want to see her, that way she won't plan to come back. Okay?" Rachel tells the teary-eyed girl.

"Wait…" She sits up a little in Marley's lap and looks directly at the tiny diva. "Was she going to come back?"

"She didn't say." Mercedes answers before Rachel has a chance.

"Actually, she text me this morning." Gasps erupt around the table. "She said that she has to go back to Lima tomorrow because she still has two more weeks of senior year, but after that she plans on moving here…"

Silence.

"Why the fuck is she doing that?" Quinn hisses.

"Language Q!" Rachel retorts, "She just said that she can't live without you, Santana, that she just wants to be close if you decide you want to see her again…"

This bit of information is almost too much to process. Everyone is whispering, trying to make sense of it. It continues until someone finally speaks up.

"I'll see her." Quinn gives Santana a confused expression, Mercedes looks at her with wide eyes, but Marley stays calm, keeping her arms around her friend.

"I'm not ready yet. I may not even be ready when she moves out here, but I want to see her. Mar and I talked this morning and I realized that I want to start over with her. Maybe we won't ever get back what we had but I need her in my life."

Chaos follows her declaration. Santana can no longer hold herself together, the conversation has wreaked havoc on her emotions and the tears turn into sobs. Quinn bursts out angrily at the Latina's confession, the dancer doesn't deserve Santana's forgiveness much less deserve to have her in her life.

Marley tries to soothe Santana but she doesn't have any luck. Mercedes yells accusingly at Rachel and Rachel looks on in confusion, mentally slapping herself for telling them about Brittany's text.

"I'm going to take her to bed." Marley shouts over the noise before disappearing into the bedroom with Santana in her arms.

* * *

Two hours later when everyone has calmed down and Santana is asleep they resume their previous conversation in the living room.

"I can't believe she wants to see that bitch, she's the one who caused this mess!" Quinn says, her voice laced with poison.

"I'm kind of surprised too I guess, I thought she wanted to move on…" Mercedes adds.

"Guys, I think it's a good idea. Both of them are clearly hurting and they need to work it out. You're accusing Brittany and calling her a bitch but she's just as upset as San." Rachel tries to reason.

"I don't give a fuck! Brittany deserves to hurt, Santana doesn't. We all made a promise to protect her and letting her see the bimbo is just going to make it worse. Do you want that? Listening to her cry herself to sleep, 2 am phone calls when she wakes from the nightmares, the broken sound in her voice…" Quinn shudders. "I refuse to let that happen again, and if you were real friends you would help me stop her."

Everyone pauses, taking in the blonde's words.

"This morning she told me that she wants to try and build a friendship with Britt again. She admitted that she doesn't think she will ever be able to just move on and forget her. I think we need to trust her. As far as Brittany, I've seen firsthand that she's just as big of mess as San… and I didn't tell her this but Brittany has literally spent every hour of the last 3 months trying to figure out where she was." No one says anything but they all seem to be lost in thought.

"She broke up with Sam you know…" This causes all three of the others to snap their heads up. "I think we need to just let San do this. It doesn't mean we can't watch out for her and protect her, it just means we love her enough to want to her be happy." Marley says to the others.

"When did you get so smart?" Mercedes asks her in an almost teasing tone.

"I didn't. I just know Santana." The others all smile at her and she blushes.

"Then it's settled, we let her do this, but we keep a close eye on things. Cey since you live with her it'll be easiest for you to watch things. In the mean time we all need to be supportive because this isn't going to be easy on her."

"I don't think one of us being here is going to be enough." Quinn tells the group. "But I'm done for the semester so maybe I will stay here in LA for the summer to help out."

"Actually there's an apartment down the hall that just opened up, maybe you could move in there." The darker girl tells the blonde.

"Perfect." Quinn smiles.

"I'm staying here too." Marley says matter-of-factly.

Rachel and Mercedes stare at her, mouths hanging open but Quinn just smirks. "You two look ridiculous! Close your mouths. I don't understand why this surprises you. Did you not see them last night!? Or this morning!? Or, I don't know, about an hour again!?"

"Q, I'm right here…" Marley rolls her eyes.

"What? I mean it's true… you can't deny that there's something going on with you two…" Quinn raises her eyebrows at the brunette, daring her to deny it.

Marley blushes but Rachel quickly comes to her aid, "Quinn, get off it."

Quinn shrinks in her seat a little, "Wanky."

"Uh, anyways, back on task. I think you should stay here over the summer, do you think your mom will let you?"

"Normally I'd say no, but since it's Santana I'm sure she will let me. My mom loves Santana."

"HEY! I know what you could do!" Rachel bounces in her seat excitedly, "You could room with Quinn!"

"That's actually not a bad idea, that way you'd both just be down the hall." Mercedes agrees.

"I can live with that, as long as you and Santana keep it in the bedroom." Quinn lets out with a laugh.

Marley turns an even brighter shade of red, "I'm just going to check on San, why don't you guys pick up something for to eat?"

"I'm gonna shower first, then we can go." Mercedes tells them.

"It's okay, you shower and we'll go, okay?" Rachel asks.

"Deal." The dark skin girl hurries off into the bathroom and the tall singer heads of Santana's room. When the others are gone Quinn reaches over and wraps her arms around Rachel who kisses her on the cheek.

"Why don't you head to the car Q, I've got to make a quick call to Kurt so he knows when to pick me up at the airport tomorrow."

"Alright, but don't take long." Quinn tells her with a wink then heads for the door.

Rachel watches as the door shuts behind Quinn, then she listens to make sure the shower is running, it is. Tip-toeing into the kitchen she pulls out her phone and quickly punches in a number.

She looks around one last time and brings it to her ear. It only rings once before someone answers. "Hey Rach."

"I told San and the girls what you wanted. She isn't ready to see you… but she's going to work on it. She was okay with you moving here too, but mixed reactions from the others." Rachel says in a hushed tone.

"Well, that's the best I could hope for I guess. I mean I didn't think she's ever want to see me, and what mixed reactions?" Brittany questions.

Rachel hears the shower shut off and panics. "I can't talk now, meet me tomorrow at Delilah's at 3:00, 1923 Walsworth St., we can talk in private there before our flights leave."

"Alright. See you then. Thanks Rach."


	11. Suddenly I See

**Hey everyone! Back with the next chapter, thanks again to everyone who has supported this story, it means a lot.**

**Also to all the haters,if you don't like my story, don't read it. Simple as that.**

**Anyways, now that I have that out of the way, on with the story!**

* * *

**Suddenly I See  
Chapter 11**

It's Tuesday after school and the two blondes remain seated in the back of the choir room as everyone else files out.

"Sam, Brittany you guys know glee is over for today?" Mr. Shue questions.

"Yeah… it's just that we only have a week and a half until graduation and I like being in here, there are a lot of memories here for me." Brittany smiles at her teacher and he just nods before leaving the pair alone.

"I can't believe I'm actually graduating this year… it's strange. I mean not graduating last year changed so much for me and now that it's finally happening I have to figure out how to put my life back together." The dancer tells her companion with a sad smile.

"It's going to be okay B. Now that nationals are over for Glee and Chreeios you can take the next two weeks and really focus on your plans." Sam nudges her shoulder with his.

She can't help but smile at him. "I guess you're right, I mean I'm going to be leaving for LA two days after graduation… my whole life is going to change."

"And it's going to be amazing, because you're amazing." She blushes at his words.

"Besides, I can tell things are going to work out for you. You're going to become a famous dancer and you're going to win your girl back and live happily ever after…" Sam tells her with a shrug. "But even then you can't forget about us little people." They both laugh.

When their laughter dies out they sit in silence for a while before Sam finally turns to the dancer.

"I know things didn't go as planned in LA, but you know I'm here if you want to talk about it."

Brittany looks up and meets his green eyes, they are so kind, so honest, and that's what she likes about Sam.

"It just sucks you know? I guess I just wasn't quite prepared for what I saw. It hurt bad enough finding out that she didn't want to see me, but knowing that my supposed 'friends' lied to me about knowing where she was just hurt more. And to top it off I'm pretty sure something is going on with her and Marley… I mean you should've seen it Sam…" As the words come out she hangs her head.

Sam places his hand on her shoulder. "I know it hurts, but your friends were just looking out for Santana… I hate to say this but that girl does something to people because you can't help but care about her, you can't help but want to protect her… You should know that better than anyone B. And I don't know what's going on Marley but just be careful what you assume okay?"

Brittany wipes a tear but nods.

"I've got to get going, I have to pick up Stevie and Stacey, but you can text me anytime you need someone okay?"

Sam walks away, leaving the blonde dancer alone with her thoughts. As she sits there her thoughts wander back to Sunday and her chat with Rachel.

_Flashback…_

"_Hey Rach…" Brittany says tentatively as she approaches. The tiny diva looks up from her coffee and smiles._

"_Hello Brittany."_

_Quickly taking a seat she looks right at the brunette, "I'm glad you called. After Friday I thought you all hated me…"_

"_I don't hate you Brittany. I never did, actually quite the opposite. I'm just a little protective of Santana… but I apologize for the way I acted that was uncalled for." Rachel takes another sip of her coffee._

"_It's okay, I forgive you Rach." The dancer gives her a smile. _

_The brunette returns the gesture gratefully. "Thank you."_

"_So I guess we should talk about this…?" Brittany says in a hesitant tone._

"_Your right, we should. As I mentioned on the phone I told Santana that you wanted to see her and that you're moving here…" Rachel pauses but keeps her eyes on the blonde. "She was okay with it, as a matter of fact she said that she wants to see you, that she wants to start over… just that she needs a little more time."_

_Brittany feels her heart jump, maybe there is hope. "That's way better news that I was expecting!" _

_Rachel smiles again, "There's more… The others weren't exactly thrilled about it. Chaos might've broken out when I told them… Well it was mainly Quinn, she pretty much declared that she's going to be on Santana guard duty…"_

_The dancer shrinks in her seat as her mind takes in the information. 'There is no way I'll ever win Santana back if Quinn has anything to say about it, and Mercedes seems pretty set of keeping us apart too. But worse, there's Marley.' _

_Brittany's thoughts are interrupted when Rachel speaks up again._

"_Brittany I know that what's happened isn't just your fault, Santana knows it, Marley knows it and even Q and Mercedes know it. But it's not going to stop them from being protective. Santana's gone through a lot in the past year, and not just with you. Her life has been really messed up, so try not to take anything to personal okay?" Rachel reaches over and takes Brittany's hand, squeezing gently._

"_And B, I promise I'm here for you okay? I want you and Santana to work through this, I want to see you both happy, not to mention I'd really like all of us to be a big family again."_

Brittany snaps out of her memory when she hears a door slam shut. Rachel's words have really been helping her cope with everything; although it doesn't completely distract her from having to look at Marley everyday (who she has been diligently avoiding), but it does help.

She grabs her stuff and heads for the exit but before she leaves the dancer turns around to get a good look at the place that's been her life for the past four years. She smiles and leaves, the petite diva's words still ringing in her ears.

* * *

It's Thursday of the next week, two days until graduation, and it's really starting to sink in. Brittany can't help feeling sad, because this place is special to her, these people are special. But a bigger part of her is relieved that she's finally graduating.

Everyone is sitting around the choir room for what will be the last time with the seniors—Blaine, Tina, Artie and Brittany. Tears are being shed, heartfelt songs sung and painful goodbyes shared.

After an hour of this, Mr. Shue calls for everyone's attention. "In honor of our seniors I'd like to do one last number as a group…" He chokes up a little but motions to the pianist who plays the opening notes to "Seasons of Love" from RENT.

When Unique belts out the last note everyone comes together for a group hug, holding tightly to each other. It's a few seconds before Brittany realizes that Marley is right next to her.

This is the first time that the blonde has looked at the brunette since they returned from LA. Brittany's been purposely avoiding her, although she isn't quite sure why.

Maybe it's because acknowledging her makes her real, makes her relationship with Santana real. Maybe it's because the blonde's afraid of being caught, she did steal her phone after all… Or maybe it's because looking into those sparkling blue eyes Brittany see's everything Marley is that she isn't, all the things Marley can give Santana that she can't.

Blue eyes meet and she freezes. Seeing this girl, her perfect smile and chocolate brown curls, up-close sends a tidal wave of emotion through Brittany and before she can stop herself she's running.

As she tries to push the tears away, her feet carry her down a deserted corridor and around the corner of another. She can only hear the squeak of her sneakers and pounding of her heart as she moves but when she stops at the end of the empty hallway to take a breath her ears pick up another sound, her name.

"Brittany! Brittany wait!" The voice causes her to freeze, even though she desperately wants to run.

"Brittany! Britt…." The girl rounds the corner with wide eyes, breathing hard. The blonde looks up and is directly staring into ocean blue orbs.

"Brittany… I…" the words come out in a huff as the brunette struggles to catch her breath. Brittany knows this is her only chance to leave.

"Wait…" Marley grabs the blonde's wrist and sucks in a deep breath. "Don't go, I wanted to talk to you and I realized that if I didn't do it today I wouldn't get the chance."

Brittany turns to look at the other girl. They stare for a while before either one speaks. "Fine, go ahead…" The blonde's voice isn't angry, but it's full of defeat.

"I know things have been weird since we got back from LA. I mean that's expected. You weren't expecting to see me there and I wasn't expecting to see you. It surprised us both, and I'm sorry Santana didn't want to see you, it's just she's really fragile right now and I'm sorry I didn't say anything to you but she needed me…" she trails off as her head droops. "I get it if you're mad at me."

These words cause Brittany to snap, "Mad? You think I'm mad? No, I'm furious Marley! You were supposed to be my friend but instead I find out that you've not only been lying to me but that you've been fucking Santana behind my back!"

Marley's head snaps up to see that Brittany's eyes are angry and boiling with rage. The taller girl reaches out to grab the blonde's hand but she roughly yanks it away. "Don't touch me." Her voice is dripping with venom.

Brittany's had enough, but as she turns to walk away Marley speaks up. "I'm not sleeping with her…"

The dancer turns around so fast she gives herself whiplash but she doesn't care. Her eyes bore into Marley's and she sees the honesty in them. "You didn't sleep with her? I thought…"

"Well, I mean we did sleep together, in the same bed, but we didn't have sex." The brunette tells her.

"You didn't have sex, but did you like…" Brittany's whole body has deflated and Marley can see all of her pain reflected in her stance.

"We kissed." The blonde inhales sharply. "But it's not like that Brittany. Yes we've kissed and yes we sleep in the same bed, but it's just that. We take care of each other, and I love her. But I'm not in love with her."

The blonde's eyes are full of tears "Really? I thought?"

The singer shakes her head.

Brittany is so relieved she can finally breathe again. Santana isn't dating Marley, they aren't a couple.

"I know this may not mean much coming from me, but I understand how you feel. I've seen Santana at her lowest, at her breaking point, I know you feel that way too, so I get it."

"Mar, I don't think you do. Not completely. Sure you might understand that pain because you've been there with San but the thing is it's worse for me…"

Marley quirks her eyebrows giving the blonde a questioning look.

"I'm not saying that she isn't hurting just as badly in that way… But she's at least had you, and Rachel, and Mercedes and Quinn. I haven't had anyone. You guys have been there for her, helped her, and protected her but me? I've been stuck here alone without anyone, knowing that the people I thought were my friends actually hate me."

More tears start to fall and Brittany can't control them anymore. Without warning Marley moves closer and wraps her arms protectively around the blonde. "Shhh, don't cry."

Brittany buries her head in the other girl's hair and sobs but the brunette doesn't let go, instead she hugs tighter and moves her lips to the blonde's ear.

"I don't hate you. I could never hate you and I know Rachel and Mercedes don't either… Quinn's a different story, but that's beside the point." Brittany sniffles and pulls away.

"It's all going to be okay. Somehow, someway it will. I mean you're moving to LA too right? Then we can all start to work on our friendships again." Marley nudges the blonde trying to get her to smile.

The dancer's lips turn up into a tiny grin but it's quickly wiped away by a look of confusion.

"Wait, you said 'you're moving to LA too,' does that mean you are going to LA?" The girl questions suddenly.

"Just for the summer, I want to be there for Santana she needs me… and although I don't always admit it, I need her too. So I asked my mom if I can spend the summer there with her and doing this internship at Mercedes' work."

The blonde doesn't say anything for a long moment, "So you're going to be staying at their apartment?"

Brittany tries to hide the hurt in her voice but she can't. Although she believes Marley that she isn't dating Santana, the brunette is obviously close with her and unfortunately Brittany's always been the jealous type.

Marley sees the struggle going on in Brittany's head and tries to respond in the best way she can.

"Kind of, I mean I will probably be there a lot but I'm actually going to be living with Quinn, we are staying down the hall."

"Quinn's moving there too? Why?" The blonde's worry about Marley is suddenly nothing compared to how nervous she is knowing Quinn will be there.

"Yeah… she sort of freaked out when she found out you were moving to LA. If you hadn't noticed she's really protective of Santana especially when it comes to you. That being said she insisted on being there, and no one wanted to argue with her." Marley tries to give Brittany a sympathetic smile but it ends up being closer to a grimace.

"That doesn't surprise me with Quinn and you're right she is really protective of Santana when it comes to me, but it runs much deeper than that. She isn't doing this because of what happened between San and I, well not solely. Our history is a lot deeper than that and there's a lot of bad blood."

Marley desperately wants to ask Brittany what she means but by her expression she can tell that the dancer doesn't want to talk about it.

"Just don't worry too much, it's going to be okay. Now come on let me walk you to your car, you've got a graduation to get ready for."

* * *

The crowd erupts as the seniors toss their caps into the air and the remaining glee club member's belt out the chorus of "Suddenly I See" by KT Tunstall.

People are clapping, hugging the graduates and shaking their hands. Proud parents beam at their children and cameras flash all around. Everyone is smiling, everyone except Brittany.

The blonde stands with her parents, her little sister and Santana's family. They're fawning over her, squeezing her tightly and telling her how proud they are. She should be happy, thrilled even but she just feels empty without Santana.

The blonde gives everyone a hug and excuses herself to the bathroom, trying not to let her tears fall.

Brittany pushes past people, fighting her way through the crowd. She feels like she's suffocating, like the pain in her chest is crushing her.

She doesn't think she can hold on anymore, but then she meets deep blue eyes and her heart lifts a little because she needs a set of comforting arms, arms that understand.

The blonde starts to walk quicker, needing to get to Marley. Her need grows even stronger when her eyes land on another familiar face, standing next to a feminine boy with caramel colored hair and hazel eyes. Rachel.

Two weeks ago she would've run from both of them, would've been hurt and angry, but now? The relief is overwhelming because if Santana isn't here at least these two brunettes are here to remind Brittany that all hope isn't lost.

Both girls watch as she makes her way toward them, the blonde unsure of which to embrace first.

In a second her arms are around the brunette diva, hugging her as she lets a tear fall.

When they pull away Rachel smiles and Brittany returns the gesture, quickly hugging Marley and Kurt.

"I'm so thankful to see you guys, I… I didn't think I was going to keep it together..."

Rachel reaches up and takes a pale hand in her own. "Come on Britt, let's go somewhere quieter, okay?" The blonde nods and they move through the school until they're near the choir room door.

"In here." Marley tells them as she exchanges a smile with Kurt.

Rachel doesn't let go of Brittany's hand but motions for the others to go first and they do without hesitation. The diva tugs on her, pulling her inside quickly before releasing her grip.

The room is full of light, and it stings the blonde's teary eyes. She blinks rapidly trying to adjust but her eyes can't focus on anything.

She's vaguely aware of Kurt and Rachel moving toward the door and Marley standing a few feet away with her back to Mr. Shue's office door.

"Shhh, you need to relax. This is your big day, you should be happy." The tall singer gives her a smile.

"I know things are overwhelming but I can help. Every time I feel like I want to relapse and stop eating I take a deep breath, close my eyes and count backwards from 10. It really helps me calm down, why don't you try?"

Brittany nods and closes her eyes.

"10"

"9," Marley moves closer to Mr. Shue's office and the blonde can vaguely hear her whispering.

"8"

"7"

"6," She inhales deeply, trying to relax.

"Just like that keep going," Marley's voice echoes through the empty room. Brittany nods and resumes counting out-loud.

"5"

"4"

"3" A smiles spreads across Marley's face as her arms encircle a petite waist. The hug only lasts one of Brittany's counts but as soon as the embrace is broken peach colored lips find red ones. The kiss, like the hug before only last a count then the taller brunette whispers, "I love you. Good luck," and vanishes.

"2"

"1"

After Brittany speaks the last number she leaves her eyes closed, enjoying the peaceful feeling. Part of her knows that Marley is probably waiting for her to open her eyes but she's going to wait until the other girl says something.

Not even a second later a voice whispers, "You can open your eyes now." It not Marley, she knows it, but she also knows that the voice is just a dream.

Her eyes stay shut, wanting to hold on to the warm feeling that the voice brings.

"Brittany…" The name falls from perfect lips and the blonde lets out a tiny gasp. She understands the truth before she opens her eyes, but when she does, it's better than she'd ever imagined.

Santana is standing about three feet away wearing a dark purple dress that hugs her curves elegantly. Her black hair falls in soft curls around her face, framing her chocolate eyes and red lips. One arm hangs loosely at her side but the other is bent at the elbow hovering over her midsection clutching a single yellow daisy. Brittany's favorite.

Their eyes meet and Brittany feels her heart race, she can't even fathom that this is happening.

"I didn't think you would come. I thought you didn't want to see me…" Although she tries to steady her voice the pain is evident.

"I wouldn't miss this for the world." In four strides Brittany is standing directly in front of the Latina.

Santana extends her arm handing the flower to the blonde. "Thank you."

A tear fall down her pale cheek and it's too much for the Latina who pulls her into a tight embrace.

They stay like that for what seems like hours, holding tightly to the other, refusing to let go. Finally they pull away both a little reluctant.

"San, I've miss you so much. I know things are still rough but I don't want to lose you completely so please just tell me what you want…"

"I missed you too B and I'm sorry I ran the other day, I was just surprised to see you, and I wasn't ready to talk. Things have just gotten so out of control with us that I didn't even know what to do. I still don't exactly, but what I do know is that I want us to start over and try to work on things, starting with our friendship. I want to get to know you again so that maybe one day we'll have a chance to try again because I still love you. "

Brittany's heart jumps at the word and she instantly grabs Santana's hands in hers and holds tightly. "Then that's what we'll do." They share a smile.

"Come on let's get out of here… I think I'm ready for that talk now, and maybe some ice cream?" Brittany giggles at the Latina.

They keep their hands connected and move toward the door, "By the way… I love you too."

* * *

**There you have it! What did you think of the twist at the ending? What do you think the "bad blood" between Brittany and Quinn is? I'd love suggestions and theories! Next chapter will be the long awaited heart-to-heart so stay tuned! Thanks for reading!**


	12. The Truth

**Thanks to everyone who've reviewed, followed and favorited this story so far. **

**This chapter is a little heavy and contains adult material, reader discretion is advised.**

* * *

**The Truth**  
**Chapter 12**

Ice cream in their hands, the pair of girls make their way towards the lake. Neither has spoken much, but it isn't awkward or forced.

When they reach the large willow tree they sit close together on a nearby bench but don't let their bodies touch.

"So how does it feel to be a graduate?" Santana asks her blonde companion.

"It feels really good, still a little strange but in a good way." She smiles at the brunette.

"I heard you're moving to LA, but no one ever mentioned what you're going to be doing?"

"Actually I got into accepted at UCLA, I'm going into the dance program. But I also was invited to join the Debbie Allen Dance Academy." Brittany stuffs a big bite of ice cream in her mouth trying to hide her shyness.

"Oh my god! That's amazing! I knew you could do it!" The Latina gives her a big smile.

"So how'd you get started playing guitar? It was pretty fun listening to you, even though the circumstances were bad… Do you play at that café a lot? The blonde asks, changing the topic.

Santana swallows a large mouthful of ice cream before answering. "Well when I moved to LA I wasn't in a very good place. Cey was worried about me, and one day she brought home Phoenix. I've barely put her down since. When my boss found out that I played and could sing he insisted I perform, although I've only done it a few times."

Brittany gives her a sad smile but it immediately morphs into a confused expression.

"Phoenix is the guitar, you know like the bird from the Harry Potter movies…"

This seems to clarify it for the blonde.

"That's awesome; you're really talented so I'm glad you get to show the world." Santana blushes.

When the blonde sees her companion blushing she lowers her head slightly and fiddles with the spoon in her cup.

"Do you think I could umm hear you play again sometime?" Her voice is soft and shy, it melts Santana's heart.

"Of course Brit-Britt."

The familiar nickname sends a wave of euphoria through the tall dancer.

Both girls stay quiet for a while, eating their ice cream, both too nervous to ask their burning questions. After they're finished eating Brittany stands up, takes both dishes and tosses them in the trash. When she returns she offers the brunette her hand.

Santana takes it a little hesitantly but stands up. Immediately the dancer links their arms together and starts to walk the path around the lake.

"So how's living with Mercedes?" The blonde breaks the silence, trying to ease her way into more difficult topics.

"It's great actually, she's been really awesome."

"I'm glad…" She pauses, "Umm what about Rachel? How did that happen?"

Santana laughs at this. "Yeah that still surprises me too, but she's changed a lot. She isn't the same annoying diva we knew. She's pretty fierce actually, I like her 'take no shit from nobody' attitude, I suppose that's why we click."

Santana glances over and Brittany as they walk and instantly notices her pained expression.

"What's the matter B?" She questions gently.

The dancer sighs. "It's just... oh never mind." The brunette stops and brings her hand up to lift the other girl's chin.

"I know things aren't perfect with us and that we still have a lot to work through but we can only do that if you're honest with me."

Another sigh, "It's just I feel so left out. I mean don't get me wrong I'm happy you have people that love you and take care of you especially after everything that's happened. I used to be so worried about you not having anyone after you ran off, but that was never the case. You had all these people, Quinn, Rachel, Mercedes and Marley, that were there for you, meanwhile I was stuck here, without anyone." A single tears falls from her ice blue eyes.

The Latina doesn't move or speak, pondering the statement. "I'm sorry B, I never meant for it to happen that way. I guess I just thought you had Sam, and Tina and Blaine."

"I did, sort of. I mean they were there, but not like the girls were there for you. It makes me wonder what's wrong with me… I thought they were my friends too." More tears fall but Santana quickly wipes them away.

"Hey look at me." Brittany's red eyes meet the Latina's concerned ones.

"There is nothing wrong with you. You're amazing and I can promise you that they still love you, well Mercedes, Rachel and Marley anyways."

"You sound like Marley." The blonde says matter-of-factly.

Santana laughs, "That's pretty common for us. But she's right, I'm right. Trust me on this…"

"I want to trust you, but I just can't understand it. I try and try to figure it out; it's just that it hurts too much for me to believe anything else…"

Hearing the despair in Brittany's voice breaks the last piece that's holding Santana together. The Latina knows now is the time, she has to tell Brittany what's she's been dreading for so long, what she's kept hidden.

"Britt lets go sit down again okay? I have something I need to tell you, something serious okay?"

The blonde meets Santana's dark eyes and they're full of pain and fear. This instantly distracts her, because no matter how bad she's hurting the Latina is her priority.

They hook arms again and finish their walk around the Lake in silence. When they reach the willow tree they sit with their knees touching, both angled to face the other.

"What I'm about to tell you is one of the hardest things I'm ever going to have to say. It's messy and painful and I'm going to cry but I need you to listen…" The blonde nods.

"Promise me you won't say anything until I'm done, okay?" Santana asks in a firm tone.

"I promise."

"Okay… I don't even know where to start…" The brunette pauses for a moment.

"About a month after I started college, when we were still together, I went to this party with my cheer squad. I didn't fell much like drinking, all I wanted to do was jump in a car and come see you, but they wanted me to stay, so I did."

Santana's heart thumps against her chest, it's been so long since she's talked about that night out loud.

"I'd only had a few drinks when this guy started hitting on me. I told him I was taken, but he persisted. I told him I was a lesbian but he kept pressuring me. I finally got up in his face and he walked away."

Brittany's eyes never leave Santana's face, trying hard to figure out where this story is going.

"About an hour later I was coming out of the bathroom and he grabbed me. I tried to fight but I wasn't strong enough and I couldn't scream because his hand was covering my mouth. He drug me into a dark, empty bedroom and threw me on the mattress. I continued to struggle but I couldn't stop him. When he slapped me across the face I couldn't stop the tears."

Their hearts race as Santana continues her gruesome story.

"He pinned me to the bed and locked his hands around my throat. That jackass told me he'd asked around about me, that my teammates had told him about you. He threatened to kill you if I made any sound so I kept quiet. He choked me, he shoved his tongue into my mouth, forced his fingers into me. I wanted to scream but I was too afraid."

Brittany could feel the tears spilling down her cheeks because she's starting to understand. Pain filled her, but rage consumed her, how could someone do that to her baby?!

"When he lined himself up I felt like I wanted to die. But all of the sudden there was a pounding at the door. His friends were outside telling him they needed to leave, but it didn't stop him from thrusting into me once."

Sobs rip through the blonde's chest and silent tears fall from chocolate eyes.

"After that he got up and started to leave, but right before he did he turned to me and said 'If you tell anyone about tonight I swear I'll find your little girlfriend and finish what I started on her.' Then he was gone. I laid there and cried for hours, until I finally had the strength to drag myself to the dorm."

Santana paused to wipe her tears, talking about that night brought the whole thing back and it was killing her inside.

"You tried to Skype me the next day but I refused it, and the next 50 attempts you made, claiming I was busy. But the truth is I didn't want you to see the handprint on my cheek and bruises around my throat. I felt so disgusting and nasty, like I'd cheated on you. I felt like a cheap whore."

Brittany reaches over and pulls Santana closer unable to stand the distance any longer. They cling to each other for a while before the brunette pulls away. "I need to finish okay?"

The dancer nods.

"I came home about a month later, and I knew that I had to tell you the truth, no matter how painful it would be for both of us. Then I saw you, you were already so fragile, so broken and I'd caused it. That's when I made a choice. I had to let you go because I didn't deserve you, I was just some slutty girl who let a boy use her body..."

"You know what happens next, I broke up with you. Then came back during Grease and told you I was okay with you seeing other people. Which at the time was true, I wanted you to be happy and I wasn't worthy of you, I was a disgusting tramp."

This causes the blonde to break her silence. "You aren't any of those things."

The brunette looks down sadly, "I thought I was." A long pause fills the air before she continues.

"When I heard you were dating Sam, what was left of my heart crumbled, because the thought of losing you and actually losing you were two different things. That's when I came back to fight for you, but you chose Sam. And to me it made sense, I wasn't good enough, I was just a dirty slut, I was nothing in comparison to a sweet boy who could give you a wonderful life and a family. So I left."

Brittany saw the complete defeat in the Latina's eyes and instantly pulled her into an embrace. She cradled the girl's head to her chest and held on tightly. Violent sobs wracked the smaller girl's body but the blonde didn't let go.

"Shhh it's okay, I've got you, I'm here." Brittany repeated in soothing tones.

* * *

Forty-five minutes later the girls sit together under the tree, their eyes both framed in red. "I want you to know that his doesn't change how I feel about you."

This catches the brunette off guard. "How can you not see me differently? I lied to you, I cheated on you, I broke your heart." The smaller girl wraps her arms around her middle trying to keep herself together.

"Santana Marie Lopez, you're the most wonderful, gorgeous, talented and brilliant woman I've ever met and I love you. Nothing changes that. Nothing."

The brunette's lips turn up in a tiny smile.

"San I want to thank you for telling me, I know it wasn't easy. But this right here…" She motions between the two of them "Is how we're going to be from now on. Honest and open, because someday I want to have a relationship with you again, and then I want to marry you and after that I want you to have my children. We need trust and honesty to start fresh, and this is the perfect start."

"You're perfect you know that?" Santana whispers.

"Na… not perfect, just lucky." Brittany murmurs back.

More silence. Minutes pass before the blonde asks, "I guess, since it kind of sparked this conversation, I need to ask, is this why the others chose you? Is this part of the reason they're so overprotective?"

The brunette nods. "Marley's the only other one who knows all the details, but the other's know what happened… and you're right, that's a big part of the reason they're so protective. I mean sure they were all upset when you broke my heart over choosing Sam, but for Rachel and Mercedes especially, they just wanted to protect me from everything and that included you."

Brittany ponders this and a light bulb finally clicks on. She gets it. She can imagine it, being inside Rachel or Mercedes' or even Quinn's mind, feeling the compulsive need to protect and comfort and being angry at anyone who is a possible risk.

"So now it's my turn to ask… what's up with you and Quinn? I know why the others are like that, but Quinn is just over the top, she wouldn't tell me, she said I needed to hear it from you…"

The blonde sighs, she knew this question would come sooner or later. "There was some drama that went on with Quinn and I earlier this year. It wasn't really about you, but she managed to drag you into it. One thing led to another and we ended up in a major cat fight. It was messy, and there is a lot that happened with her during that, and we should talk about it, but not tonight, I don't think either of us can emotionally handle much more heavy conversation…"

Santana nods in agreement.

The sun is just starting to set and it's getting a little chilly, instinctively the blonde whispers, "Come here." The brunette scoots in closer and rests her head on a pale shoulder. Brittany turns to kiss the Latina's forehead and it feels nice, but it sparks one last question inside of the girl.

"I know we've got a lot of time to talk, hopefully forever, but I need to ask you something else tonight…"

"Anything B."

Brittany inhales sharply, preparing herself, "What's really going on with you and Marley?"

Santana doesn't more for a long while but then pulls her head away so she can look into ice blue eyes.

"Marley and I are just us. We don't really have a label. She's like my rock, my guardian, my best friend. She's the reason I was strong enough to push through all the bad in my life, the reason I was able to keep going. If it wasn't for her I would still see myself as a disgusting whore, but she showed me the truth, that it wasn't my fault."

The blonde stays silent but the Latina can see all of the questions burning within.

"The night after Sectionals I confronted Marley about her eating disorder. She locked herself in a bathroom stall and I coaxed her out. We went back to my place and talked for hours, I even shared my own struggles with her. That night changed a lot because for the first time in forever I felt useful, I felt like I was worth something to someone, it's the night I started to care again. It's also the first time someone got Marley to eat in weeks."

Brittany's eyes are trained on her pale hands but the brunette can tell she's waiting for more.

"We stayed at my house that night, and as usual I woke up screaming from the nightmares. I was crying and Marley comforted me, that's when I broke down. I told her everything and it was the first time I spoke about it out loud. We saved each other and she's kind of been my everything since…" Santana pauses, getting ready to tell the blonde what she's been waiting for.

"But Brit, it's not like _that_, with her. Yes we're really close, and I won't deny that we've kissed and spent many nights holding each other, but that's it. Through everything we just started to need each other, her arms, her lips they're comfort and safety, I need her but it's different from the way that I need you… Does that make sense?"

The blonde ponders the question for a while, Santana nervously awaiting her answer. She wasn't quite sure how Brittany was going to take her friendship with Marley, but she hoped it was something the blonde would understand.

"It does make sense, and it doesn't hurt or upset me like I thought it would. I see how she is with you, once I got over the jealousy and really looked I saw the connection you two have, and I'm okay with it."

"Really?" the Latina asked, not believing what she'd just heard.

"Really."

The pull each other into a hug. "So where are you staying tonight, are you going to see your parents?"

The brunette shakes her head, "Actually things aren't great with them, but that's a story for another time… As far as a place to crash, Marley needed to get packed because I'm taking her with me when I leave on Monday and I wasn't sure how things would go with us… So I guess I'm staying with Rachel at her dad's place."

Brittany breaks into a huge smile, "My parents aren't going to be home. They had to leave right after graduation because Hailey has a dance competition tomorrow in Cincinnati… so if you wanted you could stay with me. No funny business, I promise."

"I'd love that, but I agree no funny business, as long as we can still get our cuddle on." Santana says with a smile.

"That sounds perfect." She grabs the Latina's hand and pulls her to her feet. The pair holds tightly to each other and starts for the big blue house down the street.

Things weren't perfect, and they still had a lot more to talk about, but for tonight the girls were happy.

* * *

**There it is. I know they didn't deal with Santana's incident fully, so that will be addressed later, we will also be finding out the drama between Quinn and Brittany (and it isn't jealous, so rest easy) and the issue between Santana and her family. I know this chapter has a lot of material and that many of you may not have been expecting something this heavy. Originally I wasn't planning on revealing what happened to Santana this early, but I've gotten a lot of complaints about the girl's chosing Santana over Brittany... Now you know why. **

**I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments so drop me a review! I'm also considering adding a small amount of Faberry romance on the side, so let me know if you would like to see that or not. **

**Thanks for reading!**


	13. Familiar Patterns

**I'm back! I've decided to continue with this story, although I'm still having a little bit of writers block for what to do with the plot, I'd love some suggestions! Anyways this is a short chapter, but I just wanted to get something out. I will try to update once a week from now on as well. Thanks to everyone who has stuck with me so far! **

* * *

**Familiar Patterns  
Chapter 13**

When Santana woke up her eyes stung and it took her a few seconds to remember everything. The graduation, surprising Brittany, their talk, telling her the truth. It's only then that she realizes there's a soft body pressed against her back and warm breath on her neck. A huge smile crosses her face and she snuggles back into the warmth.

Her wiggling stirs Brittany from her sleep. The blonde lets out a surprised squeak until the night floods back into her mind.

The brunette smiles and turns around to face the blonde whose face is full of so much emotion that it hurts.

"Hi." Santana mumbles shyly.

"Hi." Brittany repeats with fascination. "Did you sleep okay?"

The brunette nods and they both smile.

"Thank you." The blonde whispers, letting her eyes drop from Santana's. "Thank you for everything. I feel like I don't deserve this. I broke your heart, I chose someone I didn't love over you because I was upset… I almost lost you. But here you are."

"Here I am." She smiles.

"Thank you." Brittany repeats.

"B, I…" she pauses, "I'm sorry for leaving. Maybe it wasn't right for me to do that, but I was so hurt, I just couldn't. I couldn't be what you wanted, couldn't stick around and watch you be with someone else, especially when I felt like it was my fault."

Brittany presses her fingers to plump lips.

"It's okay. You are here now. We can start over, but first you need to know what happened with Quinn. Let's shower and then I'll make you breakfast so we can talk? Sound good?"

Santana nodded and hugged Brittany close, not wanting to let her go. In that moment the Latina realizes just how scared and broken she's been without this girl, no matter how much she's tried to hide it. Sure the girls helped, especially Marley, she's like Santana's guardian angel, her saving grace, but even her arms weren't enough to rid the pain of not having Brittany in her life.

* * *

When they were both showered and Brittany had made them pancakes for breakfast, they sat together in silence. It wasn't awkward or unnerving, just simple, like old times.

"San, you remember last night how you told me that you needed me to just listen and not interrupt so you could tell me what happened?"

The Latina nods.

"I need you to do that for me now, okay?"

Another nod.

"Before… Before our break up, when Sam and I were just friends, he was talking to Quinn. They weren't really dating, but she came back almost every weekend to see him, they were even sleeping together, but I didn't' find that out until later."

Santana can't help the horrified look that crosses her face, just thinking about Quinn and Sam together makes her want to throw up.

"Anyways, after Thanksgiving, Sam and I started getting closer, and he stopped seeing Quinn. She was furious, but she didn't know I was the reason until she came home for Christmas a week later. When she found out that Sam had left her for me she was really mad. Then after we got fake married because the world was ending, she flipped out. She came to school one day and started screaming at me in the hall, calling me all sorts of nasty names, then she attacked me."

"What did she call you, I will ends her!" Santana shouted in her best Lima Heights voice. She tried to stop the words from escaping but thinking about someone attacking Brittany made her blood boil.

Brittany put her hand on Santana's, "Let me finish, okay?"

The Latina took a deep breath and nodded.

"Sam and Blaine came and pulled us apart. There was a lot of shouting and cursing. That's when I found out she was pregnant…"

Santana let out a shocked gasp, her mouth hanging open. Brittany reached over and used her index finger to pull her jaw closed.

"She _thought_ she was pregnant with Sam's baby."

Santana let out the breath she was holding, sighing in relief.

"Weeks later I found out that she wasn't, she just thought she was… But I said some really mean things, like really mean… She called me a home-wrecker and said that I was a disgusting slut. I guess she thought I was sleeping with Sam…"

The blonde trailed off at this, meeting Santana's eyes for the first time since she'd started her story.

Two tears slipped down tan cheeks, her eyes asking a silent question.

"Never."

Before Brittany had a chance to say more Santana's arms were around her, hugging her tightly, crying into her hair.

They didn't move for several minutes lost in each other. When they finally pulled away Santana's eyes were shinning brighter than Brittany had seen in a long time and her smile was dazzling.

"That fight, all the accusations, everything. That's why Quinn hates me. After she found out she wasn't pregnant she never could let go and forgive me for the things I said to her, or forgive me for taking Sam from her, even though I didn't know there was anything going on with them in the first place."

Brittany sighed and dropped her gaze, scuffing her shoes on the floor.

"She never told me."

The blonde looks up at the Latina, waiting for her to continue.

"I didn't know she was with Sam, or that she thought she was pregnant, and I definitely didn't know about the fight. I'm sorry Britt, I'm sorry she said those things to you and that I wasn't around to make it better."

Santana hugged Brittany again.

"It's okay San. I forgive you. And I forgive Quinn for the nasty things she said and did, I just wish she'd forgive me too. I don't want her ruining our second chance San, she's your best friend and…" The dancer whispered sadly.

Santana pull away from the hug and runs her hand down the blonde's cheek.

"I won't let her ruin this Britt. I've lost you already and I won't let it happen again. We have a lot of work to do to get back to where we were, but I promise you that I won't let Quinn's opinion change my mind."

Brittany lets out a huge breath she'd been holding.

Santana just smiles into her neck and plants a kiss on her cheek.

They spend the rest of the day packing up Brittany's stuff, laughing and goofing around; it's nice and fills them both with hope for the future.

When they're finally finish they plop down on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and two sodas. Brittany insists on watching a Disney movie but Santana doesn't mind. They eat their snacks and watch each other more than the movie. It surprises them both how easily they fall back into the familiar pattern.

Halfway through the movie Santana lays back and opens her arms to the blonde in a silent invitation. Without a moment's hesitation Brittany crawls over and cuddles into Santana, letting her head rest over the smaller girl's heart.

Santana tangles her hands in silky blonde hair, playing with the strands just like she used to. Her heart is pounding in her chest and she knows that Brittany can hear it. She tries to breathe deeply but she can't stop the feelings rising up inside of her.

Finally Brittany is in her arms again, no one is standing in their way, they've both shared their demons. The Latina feels dizzy as she breathes in Brittany's familiar scent, and when the blonde looks up at her and smiles her heart skips a beat.

Her mind is racing with a million thoughts, but they all stop when she feels Brittany wriggle up her body and press their lips together.

She moves slowly, savoring Brittany's taste before sliding her tongue along the blonde's bottom lip, asking for entrance. Instantly their tongues meet and move together in a familiar rhythm. Pale hands cup her cheeks sweetly, holding her close. They explore each other, letting their tongues graze over every inch of the other's mouth.

When they break away, both out of breathe with wide smiles on their lips, they can't help but giggle at the familiar pattern they are already sinking into.


	14. Okay (Epilogue)

**I'm back! Well sort of, this is actually the final chapter. It is short and left somewhat open and lacking in detail I did this for two reasons, one because it just felt right and two because I think each reader should have the opportunity to ponder the outcome, create your own vision, and consider the advice. Anyways, it's short, it's simple, it is the end… at least for now.**

* * *

**Okay  
Epilogue**

It takes a few weeks for things to settle down, and that's okay.

Santana and Brittany spend almost every day together; both trying to work out their own issues and rebuild the friendship that had been destroyed. Although it doesn't take long for that budding friendship to turn into romance.

Surprisingly Marley is the biggest help in that, constantly giving Brittany suggestions and teaching her to be what the Latina needs. Sometimes the singer cries in her room, alone at night, but when the morning sun rises she dries the tears and puts on a smile because no matter how she really feels about Santana all she wants is for the Latina to be happy. Marley knows in her heart that Brittany is what makes Santana happy.

Mercedes finds herself rekindling her friendship with the blonde dancer, even finding it in her heart to forgive the girl for everything that she did to hurt Santana.

Rachel and Quinn spend their nights together, hugging tightly until Rachel has to return to New York. Every time Quinn cries, it's the only time the blonde singer lets her guard down, but maybe that's the first step.

The weeks pass in a blur, but they are meaningful, full of life and love, full of growth, each girl finding themselves discovering new things. The weeks are all about new beginnings.

It takes months for everyone to establish a steady rhythm, and that's okay.

Brittany and Santana's relationship is great, slow, but great. They have date night on Fridays, and spend Sundays with the whole group for movie night.

Brittany starts school, and because its dance she excels, she is the star pupil and her friends couldn't be more proud of her.

Marley returns for her next year of school at McKinley, but Skypes in every Monday and Wednesday night to catch up. Sometimes she even brings her new boyfriend along, and although it should be awkward for everyone, it isn't. They welcome Sam's presence, but most of all they are glad that Marley is happy.

Rachel goes back to New York, but she visits, almost every weekend, but that is just fine with everyone else, because what is life without a little Rachel Berry craziness.

Mercedes meets a new guy and they hit it off instantly, funny thing is that he is one of the artists she works for, but maybe it was just meant to be that way.

Santana gets offered a permanent live performing gig at a dinner theatre her boss has just opened, and she can always count on her girls to be in the front row every opening show. Sometimes Marley even flies out to see her perform. And each time they share a smile, an embrace, each still desperately needing the other's warmth, but Brittany doesn't mind, and surprising Sam doesn't either.

Even Quinn settles into a rhythm, finally accepting what has happened and putting it behind her. She's even started rebuilding a friendship with Brittany, although everyone knows it's her girlfriend, Rachel, who's behind it.

All and all things are looking up because through it all they have each other. Sometimes the hidden truths in life are the most dangerous, but sometimes they are the most freeing, depending on what you chose to do with them. Sometimes it takes a risk, a chance, to find the meaning behind it all.

Maybe it's running away, maybe it's stealing or breaking in to someone's things, or perhaps it's the scare of a lifetime. Maybe it's being broken down or put back together or finding comfort in the people who surround you. Maybe it's even doing the impossible to get back the girl you love.

Just know that even though times get can get rough, and things don't always work out, you have the ability to choose what happens next. So just jump, take a chance, risk it all because in the end it will all be okay.

-THE END-


End file.
